Is being on IM chat being too available?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Is being on IM chat being too available?
5
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 5:57pm

What do you think?

Is it too available for him? All day every day I talk to him on Messenger. Is this too available? Should I back off? He certainly doesn't call as much, that's for sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 6:28pm
IMHO, if you're on all day all the time, he's not going to bother calling. You're there all the time. You ARE available all the time. To answer your question, yes you're too available. I personally like the phone calls, as he needs to make the effort to get to the phone and dial my number.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 6:49pm
ok, thanks...that's what I thought....do you think, however, that I should just not be on all day, or should I tell him that I'm not going to be on Chat anymore?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 7:01pm
I wouldn't tell him anything. Just go about your business and log on fewer times. If he asks why you're not on all the time all day tell him that you have other stuff to do, you have a life.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:28pm

I would say something, but that's me. I wouldn't want to give the impression that I didn't want to talk to him anymore, so I'd probably say something like, "I'm finding that having the IM program up isn't helping me be efficient so I'm not going to be signing in as often. I would love to talk to you on the phone though."

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:37pm
Sheri, as usual you have the polite and right approach that is clear and honest. Most men would appreciate knowing the facts including that she is still interested. Otherwise she runs the risk of having it come across like a manipulative game where the rules change solely on her whim.