Being stood up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2007
Being stood up...
5
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 12:01pm

Hello, you all...!
I've been secretely reading (and learning from) all of you for a while. This is the first time I'm posting...

So, here's why. I have this kind of friend/f** buddy. He is this really great guy (at least I thought so), with whom I get along really well and ocasionally spend the night. I always count on him as the *spare guy*, kind of an ego buster (we are both aware we're meeting for a booty call, and that's fine, but he never had any "badmanners" about it: never called me a cab in the middle of the night, or called me at 4am, drunk, etc.), that kind of won't let you lose your faith completely on men, whenever another guy breaks your heart.

The other day we'd agreed on going to this exhibit in a museum (we rarely go do sexless stuff), on the exhibit's last day. We'd meet around a certain hour. Since I got there a little bit earlier, I texted him letting him know I was already there, that he let me know when he arrives so I would go find him.

He never responded.

About an *hour* later without any news from him, I called him. He said that he got my message. But that he was already... leaving the exhibit! And that we should "take a rain check".

He was there all the time! and he wouldn't even call me!

I get it if he regreted doing that together, but he could have at least called...

The thing that hurt me the most is the dissapointment. He had never been that disrespectful of me.

And I don't want to even talk to him or let him know that I am hurt.

This is it, right?




Edited 5/8/2007 12:06 pm ET by pulgosa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: pulgosa
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 6:22pm

"And I don't want to even talk to him or let him know that I am hurt. This is it, right?"

Not sure by what you mean by "this is it right?".

We will always be disappointed in people. If there is one thing that I've learned is that no one will ever treat me as well as I would treat them. You know, I know that people are supposed to sometimes do things and say things that are "expected" of them, especially players and people who are noteworthy. Since I am not a "player" or a noteworthy type person, I can't relate to people who talk out their a$$es. I don't know anyone who is real anymore. I look around everywhere I see and hear people who call themselves "real" and "normal" and they not either one----yet they DEMAND that others be real with them - HAH!. They will say whatever it is that their "role" tells them to say (even if it is a lie - one that could you or even hurt themselves later), even with the straightest of faces. Good liars out there. Me...**deep breath**...I am not like that. I would never say anything that would hurt someone that I cared about or who I know cares for me, just because it was "expected" of me and everyone else is a "player", so I gotta keep up. So I just keep to myself because at least I know I won't lie to myself or treat myself bad or take myself for granted.

Your guy is a player and he agreed to go to the exhibit because he felt it was the thing to do. And he left callously because that is what he was compelled to do. If I were you, I'd find another bed buddy and just keep it to the bed. this way you will not get disappointed again. Sorry I can't be of much help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pulgosa
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 5:58pm

pulgosa...

Pianoguy has a standard STOOD UP rule....UNLESS there's an unexpected crisis (like a death in the family, traffic accident, heart attack or job-related mishap)...

EITHER HALF OF A COUPLE CAN HAVE ONE SCREWUP...ALONG WITH AN "I FORGIVE YOU" FOR MISSING OUR DATE (from the man or woman who was waiting for the date to happen)!

Beyond that...THERE IS NO EXCUSE...NOR AN "I FORGIVE YOU...AGAIN!"

If the man or woman you're interested in ISN'T serious about your feelings...why should you bother wasting your time?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
In reply to: pulgosa
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 2:50pm
At least she got a message from this jerk. I've been stood up more than once by online ass**les and when I travelled all the way to another city to meet one guy he stood me up AND switched off his cellphone. I didnt know his address so there was no way to find him and I had to go back on the train...4 hours each way or more. I have had the same happen over shorter distances but basically I have come to the conclusion that most men are assholes anyway and agree with Snafu in her take on things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: pulgosa
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 2:59pm

I think you should definitely tell him you feel disrespected - he was incredibly rude and you deserve to have him know you won't put up with that sort of treatment

,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pulgosa
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 4:46pm

stefania9...

PG (being a male) can only offer his 2 cents.

If you REALLY FEEL that "all men are assholes"----you probably would be better off staying single and not dating any of us!

To be blunt...your attitude about the male sex.....SUCKS!

Pianoguy