Being STUPID

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Being STUPID
3
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 10:30am
I can't figure out what my problem is... I've been daing Mr. Wonderful for a little over 2 months now. Things are going great - he's the perfect guy. Sweet, caring, romantic, educated, etc. All the things I've dreamed of in a guy and more. From pretty early on he talked about how he wasn't dating anyone else. He said he wasn't 'smart enough' to juggle more than one relationship. I'm sure he could manage - he's a smart guy - but I took that to mean that he wasn't pursuing other relationships. I took that opportunity to tell him that I wasn't dating anyone else either and that's the truth.

Here's the thing - I can't shake this feeling of insecurity that he's dating other people. There is absolutely NO indication that he is. As a matter of fact, he took down his on-line profile within 4 or 5 dates (his choice). I've meet his friends and we spend A LOT of free time together - we're even planning a vacation for the end of March. I truly cannot imagine when he'd have time to date someone else. Everything he's ever told me has fully 'checked out', he seems to be on the up & up.

I'd like to ask him about this - to clarify things, but I'm not sure it's appropriate. I don't want to insult him or hurt his feelings by asking him. My gut tells me that I'm just being insecure and looking for reassurance. Not sure what to do... help!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
In reply to: cat_nap77
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 10:46am
congratulations on finding someone so nice. Although I think it takes more than two months to get to know someone.

If you really have no reason to think he is dating then listen to your gut.

Have you been cheated on too many times... Is that the problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
In reply to: cat_nap77
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 12:07pm
It sounds to me like an insecurity issue here. From what you say about this guy he sounds wonderful. Maybe he is sooo wonderful, in fact, that you are scared of losing him. You don't want to lose out on something soo great and rare. It is normal to feel afraid of losing someone in the beginning stages of dating. Since you have been dating for two months...and seem to spend soo much time together..I don't think it would be out of line at all for you to ask him if he is dating others. Perhaps he is wondering the same about you and waiting for you to bring it up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cat_nap77
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 2:28pm
If you are having sex with him you are entitled to know whether you're exclusive - whether he is smart enough to date around has nothing to do with whether he wants to date only you.