the best friend?
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the best friend?
| Sat, 10-07-2006 - 8:51pm |
I dont know what to do, I feel torn. I moved to a new place recently made really good friends with a girl I work with. She introduced me to her cute best friend,who I am now dating for 4 months. She's married and has known my now boyfriend for 3 years, however as soon as I started dating him her attitude towards me changed. She started being extremely rude to me and always trying to put me down. I was shocked at first we were such good friends but then I got fed up and had a talk with him about her behavior, he told me she's a very dominant "woman" and that I should stand up for myself. Well everytime we hang out the four of us she throws tantrums for no good reason and her husband and my boyfiend always rush to her rescue, Im so fed up with her. I broke up with him and all of the sudden she became a good friend for one day and confessed to me that she had problems in her marriage because her husband does not like intimacy, and so..she tends to seek attention from other men to make her feel beutiful or attractive, I figure what it is ,is that I am now taking attention away from her. My boyfriend and I worked things out but its back to the same her being rude and a jerk to me. My boyfriend tells me he loves me everyday and is by my side with everything but doesnt understand the situation Im dealing with. I dont know what to do, we are happy together but when she's around I feel like the alarms starts ringing in my head....DANGER ...B**** ALERT. How do I handle this?

Hang out with your BF far away from her and her husband.
Your BF's cards are already on the table: the woman and his husband are his long time friends and he's not going to give up the friendship. In fact, they'll be moving together to the same place!
Now it's your turn to decide if you can handle this situation. It seems that the woman is messed up in the head and will keep the same pattern, she won't change her ways. Your BF doesn't know it yet but, perhaps, later on he'll realize that every GF he has is spooked by his woman.
In your place I'd think in removing myself from a bad situation, which won't get better over time. In addition, I'd think if this guy is worth the torment and humiliation this woman inflicts on me. She does it concientiously.
Hi,
Not sure if you are still reading these... but I suggest talking to him about her, because these are his friends, and the last thing you want to do is make him chose...he needs to talk to his female friend and tell her that he plans a future with you, and she needs to accept it! that she isn't the only woman in his life.... she obviously has problems, and is kinda acting like his mother!!! LOL so hang in there....and talk to him!
Good Luck!!
My advice is to proceed with caution. There may be more to the situation than you know.
Here is a true story from my past. Reading your post got me thinking of this.
I met a girl and her boyfriend in college. We got along well. We lost touch for a few years, but met up a bit later. She and her boyfriend had married. They had a male friend. He was the husband's best friend since high school and became friends with the wife. The couple kept trying to set me up with the best friend. Thankfully, we got along, but never dated.
Whenever the four of did something like play darts, cards or something the wife always teamed up with the bf and not her husband. A couple of years later in a state of drunkenness, he told me that his wife and the bf had had an affair at the time they were trying to set me up with the bf. She refused to allow the bf out of her life and claimed it was over. To this day the situation has remained the same. The two are married trying to find someone the wife likes for the bf. I am no longer very friendly with these people due to my strong beliefs that adultery is wrong. While I feel bad for the husband, I think he should have stood up for himself even if it meant losing his bf and possibly his cheating wife. I never admitted to the wife or the bf that I knew of their affair, I am sure they would deny it. I had suspected before I was told and to this day, I don't believe it ever ended.
Hopefully, this group you are dealing with does not have a similar past.