Best friend hates boyfriend
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| Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:14pm |
I am having some issues with my friends (well, mainly my best friend) about my boyfriend. Some background information: My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now. We get along GREAT and he treats me really well and everything. Sure we have had our share of little arguements or disagreements like in every relationship, but back in July we had a major arguement that almost broke us up. I made the mistake of sharing every detail of the arguement with my best friend (like I have every other arguement though too) and since then she has stopped liking him. It wouldn't bother me so much, because I don't like half the guys my friends are with either, but when she has get togethers and what not only I am invited, not my boyfriend. And she will say things like she wants me to meet this sweet guy friend of hers or she just has them call me. Usually I just ignore her comments and most of the time I can't go to her little get togethers anyway, but what really got to me is that I told her that I was upset because my boyfriend would not be able to come with me to our friends wedding and she just had to say 'Are you sure he's even invited?' I almost lost it.
I guess I just don't know what to do about this situation. It's making me not want to be around her or even talk to her and it just plainly hurts my feelings. My boyfriend has no idea about all this. I am not a confrontational person so it would be hard to have a face to face with her. I just want to tell her that I am not going to break up with him because of her little games and that she is going to have to accept that we are together. What do I do?

mplsgrl21..
This one is really a no-brainer.....at least as far as Pianoguy is concerned.
In lieu of the fact that your friends want to set you up with somebody else because THEY don't LIKE your current boyfriend...perhaps you need to consider the possibility of finding some new friends???
Of course...they may see sides of your b/f that you refuse to accept or acknowledge? But everybody has his (or her) opinion about something or someone? Doesn't mean you have to take ANY OF 'EM as "gospel?"
Sorry....but you definitely BLEW IT when you shared your "dating stories" with your best friend! Because you automatically assumed that she'd be 'positive about your b/f?'
Point #1: NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING ABOUT ANYBODY...even the people you "think" you can count on the most?
Point #2: Your situation will eventually develop into a choice between 'the boyfriend' and 'the best friend!' If you had to choose one over the other...where are your feelings the strongest?
Point #3: Loose Lips Sink Ships!
Pianoguy
And if you hesitate in sharing something with your BEST FRIEND about your SO I think that should be a pretty large flag that you arent so sure about your choice of mate now either. It indicates that you dont think they have much of a defense for whatever slip up happened and it also says to me that you dont have much confidence left in their character.
ichristine74...
While it's impossible for Pianoguy to respond like a woman.....(PG is a mail)....here are a few responses based on your message to me.
Best friends often SUPPORT, CRITICIZE or ARE CAUTIOUS toward a b/f (or g/f). And if either of the last 2 terms apply, do you really think a best friend will "cut the new b/f some slack?" Sometimes "overprotectiveness of a close friend" blots out any rational thought?
A "couple in conflict" will often seek out support from friends and family members...BUT...THERE'S NO GUARANTEE THEY'LL RECEIVE IT!
I honestly got the impression from the tone of the original post that the lady is frustrated by the attitude of her "closest friend?" There was a lot of anger in her words. . And if there's a lot of anger toward someone whom you've been able to share 'plenty of intimate stuff with'---the person who is angry will be forced into making some sort of a choice???
It's wonderful to have SUPPORT from the people you love and trust the most, but there ARE instances when the support won't be there...and the people who seek it will be forced to choose.
Continuing to share intimate stuff and personal feelings with someone who DOESN'T share or appreciate them seems a little foolish, don't you think?
And this is the reason I wrote what I did!
Pianoguy