BF of 1yr invited to a wedding im not

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
BF of 1yr invited to a wedding im not
14
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 10:14am
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year now and he was recently invited to a wedding from an old friend of his. he talks to this friend on a regular basis but i have never met them. His friend is getting married and my name was not on the invitation and he has not asked me to accompany him. I cant figure out why he hasnt asked me to go... I saw the wedding invitation and the couple obviously doesnt have issues over money or the number of guests to invite so that cant be the reason. how can i politely ask him why he doesnt want me to go without it coming off wrong? and any thoughts on why he wouldnt want me to go?? I think some of the bachelors friends are planning a party at a strip club which i dont want my boyfriend to go to--is that wrong also of me to ask him not to go to the bachelor party? I know my boyfriend would not cheat on me but at this particular club the girls get very touchy feely with the men. help!!

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:35am
Yes, it's absolutely ok to feel upset at not being invited, but not to put pressure on the bf to bring her, because there's nothing he can do to change the situation without being rude.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 10:19am
It's not about applying pressure, it's about expressing herself and how she feels about the situation. The situation itself may not change, but she can give herself a chance to be heard. I would hope at this point in their relationship that they could at least have a conversation.

At the very minimum, honor her feelings, regardless of what's on a piece of paper (the invitation), regardless of the outcome, regardless of anyone else's opinion.

That would be my approach anyway, hence my suggestion.

A~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:13pm
I know who now not to invite to my wedding.....
Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 3:25pm
Years ago, my well-to-do cousin HAD to have a very exclusive wedding reception at The Four Seasons. To cut costs, since she insisted that it had to be there, my aunt & uncle said no "boyfriends or girlfriends" allowed, end of story. Only fiancees, husbands & wives as guests of the invited ones. I then had to tell my steady man of 5 years that he could not come; it hurt. Point is, doing this is a HUGE way of cutting costs. Sounds like what your boyfriend's friends decided to do, IF ONLY HIS NAME WAS ON THE INVITE ITSELF. You really need to realize that that choice stinks, but it's THEIR choice. Don't take it personally.

Also, Bachelor Parties will never go away, no matter who you are with. I used to HATE them when I was younger; but with age and maturity, I've realized that if a guy is sleazy enough to cheat at a bachelor party, he'll cheat on you no matter what- dump him. I'd trust my now beloved at the most raunchiest of bachelor parties- I love him, he loves me and I'm secure with that.

Hope it all works out for you!

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