bf ouf of the pic/guy at the office

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
bf ouf of the pic/guy at the office
8
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 2:30pm

Hi everyone:

A little update...my relationship (we got back together a month ago) ended last night. It hurts so much, but my bf is at a point in his life where he has no time for anything but work and he basically said him and I can stay friends but he doesnt want a relationship for several years before he figures his life out...so that's that. I am sad but no major breakdown, when one door closes another one opens, they say.

There is guy at my office whom I have been flirting with for a few months now and have been dying to get to know better. Of course I didnt act on it since I was with my boyfriend. Now, however, I would like to see him. The thing is, he is out of the office until I leave the company. I will still live in the same area but just not work here any longer. I have his work number and email address and I really want to email him/leave a VM to say goodbye and give him my phone number/email address if he would like to get together sometime...do you think this is too up front? I know he isnt married/doesnt have a gf, but do you think it is just too "obvious" even though he has shown interest...?

Thanks!!!

~T~

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 3:00pm

I'm sorry to hear about the ex, but not too surprised, given the history of the relationship, and it doesn't sound like you are either.

Re the office guy, I don't see how sending him a friendly email with your contact information would be a bad thing. That lobs the ball into his court, and he can choose to call, or not.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 3:19pm
yeah I know...I am not surprised but it still hurts quite a bit. It makes it better that I know it has nothing to do with me, I did nothing wrong...it is just his schedule.
I think I need a bit of a break in having serious relationships, I just want to date casually and just see what develops, if anything. It is also busy time in my life with my graduation sooner than I'd imagine, job search, grad school, apartment hunting etc coming up, so this is better, in the long run it saves me a lot of tears!!!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 4:13pm

Oh, I know it still hurts! I recently ended a relationship, and even though I knew the end was coming because my ex was unwilling to make space in his life for me or make me any sort of priority, it still hurts like heck!

Good luck with the casual dating, I can't seem to do that...I get too attached even when I pick guys with whom I *know* I wouldn't want an LTR. But hopefully you'll be better at it than I am ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 4:23pm
exactly MY situation...well, my ex just COULDNT make time for me, impossible when he works about 16 of the 24 hours in each day!!! But I also believe in making that someone FEEL like they are important and my ex just couldnt do that...which made me think I mean nothing to him...-----> more problems...so yeah, I am coping quite well but of course i am sad and this time it hurts worse than the first time. He broke my heart not only once but TWICE!!!! But I am hanging in here :) I will ***try*** the casual dating and then see what happens...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 5:30pm
I'm sorry to hear that your relationship didn't work out. Take your time getting into something new. I don't think there is anything wrong with sending him a quick email saying that you wanted to say good bye and give him your contact information. No harm in that!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 9:38pm
I don't see what is wrong with showing some interest in a guy, just as long as you're not pestering him, and I doubt what you've done is going to pester him. Also, just saying that he can call you to hang out sometime when you're leaving the office kind of gives the impression that you're just interested in staying in contact as friends- not that there would have been anything wrong with letting him know you'd like to date him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 9:50am

Thank you all for your positive thoughts and encouragements...this was my first time someone broke up with me (has been the other way around) and now I know how it feels to be on the receiving end and it isnt easy at all!!!

I am going to send the guy and email and also leave a voice message (just in case!!!) and just see what happens, I have NOTHING to lose so I am going to go for it and if nothing happens then thats fine too, I am in the need of a break.

oh btw, I told the guy who I have been kind of seeing but only want a FWB arrangement with, how i feel. I told him 1) i am still broken hearted and sad 2) i dont think i am ready for a serious relationship and he was fine with it and just said "lets just see what happens"...so now I have no quilt feelings about anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 3:19pm
Just be casual - you know you won't see him anymore since by the time he comes back you 'll be gone from the company. You've enjoyed your talks with him and would love to get together for coffee or a drink sometime.
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