the big "L" word.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
the big "L" word.
2
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 7:39pm
my boyfriend and i have been dating for about two months now. i know that it has not been that long, but i am very into him and he feels the same. we recently had a discussion on the "L" word, as he likes to call it. he says that it is very dangerous and i have noticed that he rarely uses it. he has told me that he uses it wisely, and that he never says it unless he really means it. that is comforting to me, in a way, but it also makes me wonder if he is actually afraid of loving someone. i worry that he might hold back and not let himself fall in love with me, and maybe he will never say it or feel it. i don't love him yet, but if things keep progressing, because we do have a very wonderful relationship, i know that eventually i will fall in love with him. i just worry that when it does happen, that he will not feel the same. and when i do fall in love with him, i wonder if i should tell him. he says that sometimes one person says i love you and really means it, but the other doesn't and just says it because they feel obligated. in the future, i don't want to tell him that i love him and then have him feel obligated to say it back to me. and likewise, i don't want him to hold back from telling me if he loves me because he is afraid that i will not feel the same, or that i might say it just because i feel obligated. am i just reading too much into this, or what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 1:47pm
It sounds like you just need to take it one day at a time. A guy not telling you he loves you is A LOT better than one who says it but doesn't mean it. You said you're not in love with him, yet, either. It sounds like you're both at the same place. That's a good place to be. Try to enjoy it and don't worry about things that haven't materialized yet. I'm not blaming you, I do it, too. However, it's better and more fun if you don't. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 5:53pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. One night I told him I loved him, and I totally meant it. He hasn't said it back yet. He said that some people abuse the L word and that he will say it when he knows that he means it. I respect that, so every so often I say it to him and he just smiles. I know he probably does love me, but when he realizes it, he will say it to me and it will be ever so much more meaningful. We really do have a great relationship. So he can take as much time as his little heart desires. Don't rush it, "Good things come to those who wait"