Boastful Ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2003
Boastful Ex
3
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 10:42am

Hi,

forgive me for being childish and unreasonable, but recently i've been rather bugged by what's going on with my ex. well, we've broken up for some time now, and met with different people. he's attached, i'm not. i'm beginning to feel tired and impatient, for being unable to start on a new relationship; the loneliness gets to me.

to make matters worse, my ex has been quite showy (or, to be fair, perhaps we can just say "open") about his. he has a fully public online message board that he actively advertised about, on which he goes into lavish detail about everything wonderful with his relationship, e.g. sharing the same Mars bar with his new girlfriend. he's forever showering praises and endearments upon her, online. and he is thrilled to have people respond to his posts, be it friend or total stranger.

as we have a common pool of friends, i got to know about it. i was foolish enough to let curiosity get the better of me. i opened Pandora's Box, and felt quite unhappy over the fact that he seems to be doing so well, while i'm still seeking and wandering.

i never went back to that site, but the damage is already done. i have no one else to blame but myself, but i still hope that someone can drop me a line of wisdom, or even common sense, to help wake me up perhaps. thanks.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: noharmtrying
Sun, 12-19-2004 - 3:09pm
Hello noharmtrying, welcome to the board!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: noharmtrying
Sun, 12-19-2004 - 5:40pm

I'm sure that things AREN'T as wonderful as he's letting everyone believe. Going on and on about this new woman, maybe he's trying to convince himself....

:)

Instead of focusing on his life, be thankful he's not in your life anymore. You are not together with him anymore, and I'm guessing that was the best decision for you.

What will get your mind off of him? YOU!! Get out there and have some fun! Enjoy the single life and all it has to offer. If you're happy with your life and everything in it, that will radiate out to everyone and when you least expect it, you'll find someone. He'll be drawn to you because of your positive attitude.

So get out and have fun, take up some hobbies you've been wanting to try. Phone up some friends and enjoy a night out together. You don't have to pick up a guy to make the evening enjoyable.

I wish you luck in sticking the ex in the past. I know it's very hard to get over quickly, and hurts a lot when they seem to move on before you. I found it helpful to write down things in a journal, just to get them out of my head and my heart. I went through a lot of disappointment, anger, frustration and loss with my ex, and it still hurts me to think about it. But now I don't think about things with him, cause I focus on today and what's happening for tomorrow..

HUGS
ALison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
In reply to: noharmtrying
Mon, 12-20-2004 - 2:06am

oh believe meeeeeeeeeeee - I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!

my ex and i have been broken up for 7 months now, and im STILL dealing. its been sooo hard moving on, and i still struggle everyday. im A LOT better now than five months ago, but, im definately not "over it."

despite the fact that ive been dating myself, and as selfish as this sounds - but, id be MUCH happier if my ex was sitting on the couch by himself every night, alone...and ALONE....and ALLOOONEEE.. i know i should be wishing him happiness and blah blah blah - but CMON! this guy broke my heart, stomped on it, then ran it over with a truck - so yah -im not gonna lie, ill be quite content if he never finds happiness after me :)

but, at least - things reallllly arent as great as they seem sometimes. four months after our breakup, my ex started dating this new girl. i was devastated at first, and throughout the whole time, ive been jealous and hurt. BUT, they broke up two weeks ago and ive learnt that things really arent as great as i had imagined :D ... however, they're still "friends" and still "hang out" and so ofcourse, it still makes me want to GAG.

worse is, like you - we share some of the same friends... so inevitably, his life gets relayed to me - and while i pretend im OK with it, truth is - ARGH.

but like you, its my fault... i opened pandoras box, and really shouldnt have. i dont even know why a part of me aches to know ...but, upon doing so, i realize how much truth there is to the saying: "curiousity killed cat." .. ahh :(

sooo, i really dont know what advice or words of wisdom to send out to you - seeing that i could definately use some of my own. but, what i can say is - regardless of what theyre doing, in the end it really doesnt matter anymore?? we just gotta keep moving on ... :)

MANY HUGS,
eeksj