boyfriend downloading women's pictures

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2004
boyfriend downloading women's pictures
1
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 6:54pm
I just found out my boyfriend, on an internet website, downloaded another woman's picture to a forum for all to see. It was purely for that reason.

A different time he also downloaded an old girlfriend's picture to the same forum and then played along with the comments that were made by another member of the forum (such as Playboy or Penthouse?). It was a picture of her and his dogs and he told me that it was the best picture he could find to post at the time. I do not buy that excuse, because I think he was looking for comments and I also know of other greats photos of his dogs without her. He told them she was a model but did not set them straight that it was no longer his girlfriend.

On the same motorcycle website, he has engaged in voting on a group of pictures of women.

He is 58 years old, never married, but has had some long term relationships, last one about five years ago, and we have been going together for two years and both have professed our love for each other and have talked of future plans.

When I asked him about the incidents, he said that he just liked pictures of healthy women.

Am I crazy to stay with this guy, am I being silly and just a jealous girlfriend?

He also feels it necessary to comment on the physical attributes of women on television. He says he does it about men too, but that is so rare. He says it is my problem, lack of self esteem, etc., my reaction and nothing to do with me, all the psycho mumbo jumbo.

To be fair to him he said he was sorry if he hurt me on the old girlfriend picture and for his immaturity but I now have trust issues.

Any input will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.


Edited 3/9/2004 11:19:09 PM ET by rptl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 9:25am
I think it is tacky for men to comment often about other women in the presence of an SO, and to tell an SO that he downloaded pictures as he told you (unless you found out by snooping, which also is tacky, IMHO).

Either you trust him or you don't - if you find his behavior disrespectful (it is certainly not cheating) tell him that you find it that way and to please not make those comments or tell you about those behaviors. My personal concern would be the extent to which he objectifies women - and therefore, you if he does these behaviors frequently.