boyfriend hates hair 'down there'

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
boyfriend hates hair 'down there'
20
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:40am
I recently started dating a really cool sweet guy with a huge hangup: He wants me to be "clean-shaven" all the time. He brought it up to me the very first time we hooked up and hasn't let up. I have always kept my pubic area very tidy and short, but not shaved off. He doesn't want any hair 'down there' or on my legs at any time. I decided to comply and try shaving it all off, but it is very hard to maintain because, as you know, if you shave too much, it gets itchy, you have ingrown hair and shaving rashes. He told me that 90 percent of men feel the same way and that all of the other girls he's dated have kept their 'area' clean-shaven at all times. I don't see how this is possible unless you are getting regular waxes. I have been dating for 11 years and have never had a guy make any sort of comment about how I keep my pubic area. I personally prefer to have at least a little bit of hair, but he insists that since this is his only hang-up, that I should try to accomodate him. It has led to several fights, because I will take the time to shave everything and then he falls asleep and we don't even have sex. I feel like he is asking too much of me and I have a hard time believing that all men feel this way. What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:15pm

There are a lot of guys who prefer that, but I don't know if I'd go so far as to say "90 percent" of men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:31pm

Stacy, Thanks for your reply. I have never had a guy have any problem with some bristly legs or regular type hair 'downstairs.' That's why this was so alarming to me and I considered breaking up with him several times over it because I thought it suggested a deeper problem. Well, it may - time will tell. But after originally telling him that I would try it (and I did), I told him yesterday that i didn't like it. I don't mind to do it once in a while, but I prefer some hair down there. I told him I would get waxed if he would pay for it. plus, sex and other things feel better when there's some hair, in my opinion. He was very agreeable to it. i told him i would keep it shorter than usual, but not shaved off. i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt because he is not a jerk of a guy, I know - I've been with that guy.

but if it continues to be an issue - i may have to reconsider. i've never had to think about this issue so much in my life and to do so feels like a personal regression. You know?

thanks again for the great advice and have a great day.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:53pm

Um...have you ever *had* a bikini wax??? You might change your mind about getting them done regularly once you have one (in my experience, they are EXTREMELY painful).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 1:59pm
I'm too chicken to get one - I am a big baby when it comes to pain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:17pm
No... I haven't. I read something that said it doesn't hurt as much after the first time. a lot of my friends do it and I figure, like child birth, it hurts like hell - but tons of people do it, so it can't be unbearable. but, you are scaring me. i like the idea of not having to shave the bikini line for several weeks.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:22pm

Hmm...well, I've had a number of them, from different providers, and it hurt like heck every time, I'm afraid, so I've stopped having them done. But I have *really* sensitive skin AND a low pain threshhold, so maybe that's why? You may as well try it and see if you can tolerate it better.

I do like the results, but not the pain, so I've switched to an electric razor/trimmer instead.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:27pm
Interesting... I think I will try it at least once and see if its worth it. What kind of electric razor/trimmer do you use? I like that idea as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 9:19pm

Quite a topic of conversation. I agree with a lot of the points brought up by the various people posting.

I hate to hear about people men or women being controlled by others on any level, so keep your eyes open for other controlling issues. Now if he brought up as a have you ever tried or would you ever try, then that wouldn't seem so bad to you.

As for methods..waxing certainly scares me, but I can't wax my legs without them breaking out into a nasty painful rash, so I personally wouldn't consider that method.

Basically, you should do only what makes you comfortable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 9:40am
Yes, I agree with you wholeheartedly. No one should do something they don't want to do in order to 'keep' another person. I tend to want to please others and if someone has a 'fetish' for something, I will try it at least once (within reason). So I tried it and don't really prefer it. I am going to try waxing, a girlfriend of mine insists that its not that bad and she has a good provider. so i'll give it a go. He is not a controlling person like "I want you to..." But he did say that it was a strong preference of his, but was not a dealbreaker. I think we have struck a compromise in which I'll keep it short but not shaved off completely. I do understand someone not wanting to deal with a 'bush' situation. Thanks again for your comments.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 10:22pm
Sorry but didnt get a chance to go through all the replies, but i personally find his request quite disrespectful. You've only started dating him yet he is already criticizing your body and making demands about your private areas? I could see a long term boyfriend requesting that but certainly not from someone I barely know. It's offensive.

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