to break up or not to..

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2005
to break up or not to..
2
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 12:26am

Well..here's the short story.. I started going out with this guy since last year, then I moved away we break up, but still keep in touch.. a couple months later he visited and we're back together. We visited each other, talked a couple times a week, and this past valentine's day he gave me nothing. He called and apologized and he mention something about not wanting to lead me on.. since we both don't have everything figure out yet. (my answer..aren't we dating?).. so since then, I started doubting about this relationship. In a couple weeks I will meet him and thinking to break up with him. Things are alright..but I think somewhere I want more..not that I want to get married soon or anything, but you know..the least..I'd get something for v-day. My question is..how do you know when relationship just need work or just not right altogether?

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 1:20am

It sounds like he likes you but isn't ready to be in a commited relationship quite yet. I would suggest that you try possibly dating him and dating other people also, because that is most likely what he is doing.If you're not comfortable with that, then move on and find a guy who will be 100% commited to you.

If you give him time and the option to see other people and let him choose, he may eventually come around and realize that you are the one for him, but like most men, he just needs time. It also wouldn't hurt to let him know that other guys are interested in you also, becuase he may just be taking it for granted that he can have you if he wants you, and a little competition might make him realize his true feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 2:19pm

It all comes down to what you want. If the two of you have been together and there was discussion of being exclusive and committed, then I definitely understand why you would be upset with no V-day gift. I guess I'm wondering why you broke up originally and what made you get back together. Is this a relationship that is worth it to you? What is your gut saying.


I think all too often we don't trust our own vibes in these situations. If the good points of the relationship outweighs the bad, then I would try to work it out. But that's only something you can decide.


Hope this helps. Let us know how it works out.


Kerry