Breaking up is hard to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2005
Breaking up is hard to do
4
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:00am
Hi I'm new to ivillage and this message board...I'm having a break-up dilema and I don't know what to do! I've been dating this guy for about two and a half months. He is very sweet, he treats me good, the sex is the best I've ever had but I just don't feel myself ever getting more seriously involved. I've given this a lot of thought and before I got the chance to talk with him about this I found out that his Match.com profile is still active and the other day I saw that he was logged on! I created a phony profile and contacted him to see if he would respond and of course he did. When I confronted him about this he said he was "just looking," which I think is a bunch of baloney. He also said he knew it was me in the phony profile and actually got mad at me for "playing games!" I told him he was the one playing the games and that I didn't want to see him anymore. I told him besides the Match.com stuff I didn't think he and I were long term material and that I didn't see myself getting further involved with him. The problem I am having is that he won't let this go. He says I am not giving him a good reason to want to break up with him. I've also told him I did't like his attitude (he is a cop and kind of has that "cop" attitude a little too often). I don't know how else to make it clear that I am not interested in a realtionship with him anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:09am

kja35...

Pianoguy thinks you want some sort of 'exclusivity' with a man who doesn't share the philosophy!

It's obvious that your b/f wishes to be a FREE AGENT while you'd like to play for one team? So one of you will either have to bend...or bow out!

If you truly don't believe the two of you are "long term material" (using your words)---then tell him WE'RE FINISHED! Don't let him coerce or con you into changing your mind.

Once you've arrived at a permanent decision...STICK WITH IT! I'm sure there are other men who would prefer having a nice, loving woman without resorting to creating a 'bogus profile' on match.com?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:54am

You've already made it abundantly clear. Now you need to call block his number, block his email and IM.

If he still doesn't go away tell him that you will take measures to get a restraining order.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 2:05pm
Tell that Gil Grissam wannabe to get lost. You gave him a very good reason and that reason is he want's to be a free agent and keep you reserved for only him. That is not fair and his values are not your values. Therefore you're imcompatable. If he still doesn't get it, then don't pick up the phone when he calls. If you don't have caller id, let every message go to voicemail.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 5:28pm
Tell him everything you've written here and then stick to it. Don't take his calls, don't reply to email. If he's not an idiot, he'll leave it at that and skip the chance for a restraining order. Tell friends, family and neighbors you've broken up with someone recently just in case it's necessary for people to be watching over you. It's unfortunate but you have to be careful.