Bringing up the EX???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Bringing up the EX???
4
Sat, 11-27-2004 - 4:40pm

What does it mean when a guy you are dating brings up his ex?
It's not a situation where he brings her up EVERYTIME we are together, but just at certain weird times, and he mentions weird things that have nothing at all to do with us! For example: one time he told me what all happened between them and how she was a little "crazy" and had some personal issues. We talked about it for probably an hour.
Another example: last night he met one of my friends, and as we were backing out of the driveway, he said "my ex used to have a car just like that" (talking about my friends car). Now, what was the point of that? I never bring up previous guys I dated or previous relationships. I just don't see the need for it.
Also one time he told me he wants me to go on a business trip with him (he travels a lot for work) and mentioned how his ex used to go with him a lot but never really had a good time and always started fights.
I think that he is over her. ?? We have been dating a while, and they were only together 10 months and broke up in May (so about 6 or 7 months ago) but still talk every once in a while and are still "friends". He even ran into her about a month ago and they talked for about 40 minutes and he told me about that.

Basically what I am wondering is, what does this mean? The fact that he brings her up quite a bit (not EVERYTIME, but quite a bit): does that mean he is still hung up on her or not over her? I'm confused. Please help!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 10:48am
Everytime he brings her up is because something reminds him of her... The car, the trips, anything you say, could trigger his memory. But before I go on, how long had they been together before they broke up? And how long after they broke up, did you two get together?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 6:32pm

Hi. Okay, i'd be reacting exactly the same as you if it was me.........and for a fact i'd be thinking along the same lines, but like toughtimes said, how long was he with her and who split up with who? It might be nothing but the fact that he keeps bringing her up when he's with you prob means either (a) he means it as nothing more than a friendly, ah yep, my ex had that car or she did this or that' and hasnt thought of the fact that you might be wondering why he's doing this, or (b) he isnt over her yet and is doing this either consciously or unconsciously - maybe he doesnt even realise he's doing this/thinking about her? Have gotta say though i'd be more than a little suspicious that he's doing this - i did this on a date once but only when my date mentioned about a holiday i went on and i said that i went with my ex, then mentioned it again but by mistake said my 'chap' then quickly said my ex chap obviously.....it doesnt come across as good! Hope this has helped a little....but like tough said how long was he with her and who split up with who?

Alice x

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 3:12pm
they were together 10 months, he says he broke up with her and it was in May
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 3:35pm
I'm sorry to say, but I really think you're just a rebound... Discuss it with him to figure out what it really is, then decide from there what's the better thing to do for you.