Bringing up sexual history?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Bringing up sexual history?
5
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 8:10am
Hello,

I am 22 and the guy I am seeing is 23. We have been dating for awhile and the other day, the topic of sexual history came up...we were both in long term relationships before and he admitted he had never even kissed another girl until his ended. When mine ended, I turned into the sort of wild party girl and ended up sleeping with a couple people. Thankfully I've gotten that out of my system! But I'm worried he has slept with less people than me. I'm guessing his number is probably going to be around 2 or 3, and I have been with 5 people...I don't know why it would seem weird to me to have more of a sexual history than him but it bothers me for some reason and I am scared to admit it to him. I don't know what he will think or how he will react. Any pointers on the situation would be great! Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 10:13am
I just started dating this guy not too long ago. I have thought several times "I wonder how many people he has been with" until Tuesday night he mentioned some things he did on spring break when he was in high school. I got this feeling in my stomach that I can't explain. And all of a sudden his sexual history no longer mattered to me. I am 25 and he is 24 and I have had my share of fun. I don't think I want him know all of the things I have done with other men, and I don't think I want to know what he has done with other women. As long as he is just sleeping with me right now, I don't think I will ever be interested, unless he wants to share something really kinky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:52am
That makes sense, I am just wondering what to say if he DOES ask - do I tell him the truth? Honestly I am kind of curious how many he has been with, I really don't think it would bother me but I like to know the history of the guys I am dating, especially if I am getting into bed with them. I really like him and want to be open with him so I would want to tell him the truth I am just scared to!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 12:00pm

There is no reason to tell this man (or anyone) how many people you have slept with.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 12:38pm
There is no point to asking or telling each other how many people you've slept with. No matter WHAT the number is (high, low or in between), at least ONE of you is going to have a problem with the other person's number, I guarantee it. I've learned that the hard way...so I no longer allow myself to get drawn into that conversation! The only thing about your respective sexual histories that is relevant now is whether either of you have an STD...so talk about whether you've each been tested and how recently.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:11pm
As I tell him all the time about his "looking" at other women "I don't care where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home."

And as he told me after our first night in bed together "you didn't get that good at that without lots of practice, I am so glad that I am the only one benefitting from all your experience."

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com