broaching the subject
Find a Conversation
broaching the subject
| Mon, 07-26-2004 - 3:17am |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and have a fantastic relationship. We have discussed marriage, children, etc., but there is one thing I'm having trouble bringing up.
I wil graduate from college this May, and from there I want to go to grad school. Due to taking time off, he has another year or two before he graduates. Ideally, I want to continue my grad work at the University I currently attend, as I love this city. And yes, I want to stay near him. But rest assured, my university has a wonderful program for what I am studying -- we're talking top 10. Anyway, I want to discuss what he plans to do when he graduates. i kind of brought up the subject, and he was very vague. I think that was partly due to the fact that he's a little scared about what his future holds. I have the utmost confidence in him, and I know he will be successful, so I think he ought to be confident in discussing his future. The bottom line is that we need to discuss how our post-undergrad work will affect our relationship. Ideally, I'd like to be engaged before I start grad school. My plan is to finish grad school as he finishes undergrad, then get married and work while he completes his grad work. I want to discuss this with him, but in a way that lets him know that he has a say in this. At the same time, I want to stress the fact that as I am applyign to grad schools, it is imperative that we discuss our future NOW. Any suggestions?
I wil graduate from college this May, and from there I want to go to grad school. Due to taking time off, he has another year or two before he graduates. Ideally, I want to continue my grad work at the University I currently attend, as I love this city. And yes, I want to stay near him. But rest assured, my university has a wonderful program for what I am studying -- we're talking top 10. Anyway, I want to discuss what he plans to do when he graduates. i kind of brought up the subject, and he was very vague. I think that was partly due to the fact that he's a little scared about what his future holds. I have the utmost confidence in him, and I know he will be successful, so I think he ought to be confident in discussing his future. The bottom line is that we need to discuss how our post-undergrad work will affect our relationship. Ideally, I'd like to be engaged before I start grad school. My plan is to finish grad school as he finishes undergrad, then get married and work while he completes his grad work. I want to discuss this with him, but in a way that lets him know that he has a say in this. At the same time, I want to stress the fact that as I am applyign to grad schools, it is imperative that we discuss our future NOW. Any suggestions?

So you can ask him to marry you - and present him with a ring, etc....so that this discussion can ensue. Or, you can plan your goals and agenda accordingly and let him know that you will be going to grad school wherever it is, and that you're wanting to know the status of your relationship because if he doesn't see a future "with you" (because undoubtedly he's going to have a future - we all do) you want to know so that you can move on and start dating to find someone who wants a life partner.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com