Is busy man worth the wait?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 07-05-2004 - 7:03pm |
In mid May he began e-mailing and instant messaging me almost daily. We can chat past midnight some nights. He began flirting with me again and told me he would be an hour away from me in less than a month and wanted me to come see him. He was making all the effort this time around. He talked about our meeting for days and days like he couldn't wait. I did meet him and it was like nothing had changed. He told me that he would be traveling a lot for the next 3 months and I told him that some women didn't think it wasn't that big of a deal and military wives dealt with it all the time.
The following Wednesday I e-mailed him because he had not been online and I had not heard from him. His computer has been down at home and he explained that to me prior to us meeting. I am hoping that that is all it is. I asked how his week was going and he was swamped. He made a comment about another rendezvous but didn't mention when. He had to leave town this past weekend, he will be leaving again for 2 weeks and his schedule up through September is pretty full with travel. I know he is busy with work in traveling, etc. and I completely understand and appreciate the fact that he is so ambitious. My question is, when men get so busy, do they not understand that a 5 minute phone call would go a long way? I am beginning to feel insecure and am wondering if he will contact me again. I admit that I am emotionally attached to him. I have been from the beginning. Am I worrying for nothing? Are some men this focused on their careers and don't consider how they make us question if things are moving forward? I thought about surprising him with cookies where he will be later this week....is this a good idea?

However, I will also say I never met anyone during that time for whom I wanted to change my schedule. If I had, I would have in a hearbeat. As someone once told me, if someone wants to spend time with you, they will make the time no matter what the obstacles. I'm sorry to say this, but in my opinion, he is either not as interested as he claims to be or is not ready for a serious relationship. Either way, you will likely continue to wait for him. Only you can decide if waiting is what you want but I really don't think he will change anytime soon. Besides my own experience, I also have a male friend who worked 7 days a week, an average 12 each day. He did so for years, never getting seriously involved with anyone. A few years ago, he meant someone new and within a month, cut his schedule back drastically. They live in different cities and switch travel back and forth every weekend. The point is he found someone he wanted to be with and changed. I wish you luck with this man but my best advice is move on. You can keep communication open but do so only if he contacts you. He may realize what he's missing out on. If not, move on with your life. You can find someone who really wants to be with you.
Long distance relationships are almost always open relationships. If this is OK with you then so be it. Whether you think it is open or not, It usually is the case. Unless he makes some serious changes, I would not take him seriously. You deserve to be treated as priority! There is only one you , there is no job in the world that justifies putting you on the back burner. You deserve respect and not calling you or e-mailing is a BIG RED FLAG. Maybe you should consider moving on, there are far to many FISH In the SEA. Never Settle!
Sometimes you can have two wonderful people interested in each other yet the situation does not offer the things needed for a substantial bond. This may very well be the case here too.