Can anybody explain his male behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Can anybody explain his male behavior?
2
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 1:00pm

Okay, dated this guy off & on for 3 months. He told me he loved me & never wanted to lose me-- but we constantly fought--- fought about minute things. He tried to control my life--- not wanting me to hang out with my friends, cussing me out, cussing my friends out--- gave me rules & stipulations for us dating. Well finally we broke up--- pretty mutual... I was tired of being controlled & he was tired of trying to control the uncontrollable me. Well it's only been a few days & he has been writing me awfully mean text messages & emails. & will call only to be a complete jerk. I don't understand why & how this happened. I mean I tried everything to keep him happy aside from letting him control my life. & if he "loved" me like he said he did how does he have the nerve to be badmouthing me & calling me names & saying things such as, "I regret wasting so much money & time on you," & " I wish I had cheated on you, (he has now convinced himself that i was unfaithful) (WHICH I AM COMPLETELY LOYAL!!!!), cusses me out, calls me names, etc. Why is he acting in this cruel & uncalled for behavior? WHy all the hatred for me now--- Can people actually go from wanting to marry somebody to absolutely hating them & cursing them for everything they are worth? Please if anybody can give me ANY explantions as to his behavior- it would be MUCH appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 1:21pm
Ok, the cold hard truth is that this guy does not love you and is in fact, a complete jerk. I know he says he loves you, but it's clear that he really doesn't understand what that means. Ignore his phone calls, you are SO much better off without him. There's no two ways about this. It doesn't matter what he is saying, his ACTIONS are speaking MUCH louder. You deserve someone to love you in a way that builds you up, not tears you down, okay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 8:28pm
Hon, his current behavior shouldn't surprise you. He was like this before, when you dated him -he was a nasty person- and he's like this now. The man is controlling, rude and agressive when things don't go his way. He was like this before so why do you say you don't understand his behavior? His book says he can be abusive and agressive with anyone who doesn't do what he says and his acting upon those standars. It's time to move on and cross this experience as one bitter one. Don't answer his calls or respond to his nasty messages. Ignore him and he'll go away, in time.