Can attraction grow?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Can attraction grow?
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 5:25am

We have great chemistry, a lot in common, enjoy each other's company, spend hours chatting and texting, but I don't have any physical attraction to him. Can attraction grow? And yes, I am aware of my shallowness in this situation... Undecided

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 9:11am

Short answer: NO

Long answer: NO

Rock on.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 9:56am

I don't think it's shallow to want physical attraction.  There are some people who you would like as good friends but you just don't have an attraction for.  I think occasionally attraction can grow when you get to know someone & like them, but if you have known this guy for a while, are not attracted now, you probably will never be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 10:28am

Agree with Rocklady.

NO matter what else IS there, physical attraction cannot be forced. It's either there, or not there - as simple as that. What it's based on is unknown!  You typically know in the first few seconds of meeting someone face to face. Life would be sooooo easy if this wasn't the case. Some say you can learn to 'love' someone based on how good, kind, wonderful to you he is, how similar you are as people etc etc. I say they're just deluding themselves and are prepared to settle. In my opinion and experience, trying to force yourself to fancy, want, desire someone when both your body and soul are saying NO is the worst form of torture...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Mon, 09-02-2013 - 10:44am

Sorry, but if you aren't physically attracted at all, it just will not happen. Keep him as a close friend, but look elsewhere.