Can a comfortable relationship survive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Can a comfortable relationship survive?
1
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 1:48am
My boyfriend and I have had alot of disagreements and situations in our relationship of 2 years. Our biggest trial in our relationship was his cheating on me. We worked through it and continued on making our relationship stronger. But, no matter what neither one of us leaves the relationship. I know I stay b/c I love him, and I am comfortable with the relationship. I asked recently him why he continues to stay through the arguments and everything else that happens. His response was b/c he loves me and does not want to lose the time we have invested in our relationship. So we are both staying b/c we do not want to go out and find someone else or start again. Should we stay in a relationship b/c we are both comfortable? Can a relationship last in this manner and survive into a lasting marriage?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 6:37am
I think you stay because you love each other and are inspired to give to each other and see each other as special where, basically, no one can hold a candle to that person - at least, most of the time and enough of the time so that if you meet a great person, you are not that tempted to cheat - if a main reason is inertia - you don't want to be out there again - then I know for me it would not last - I do not want to be with someone who is settling for me because it's difficult to meet people (and yes it is very difficult but that is irrelevant) nor do I want to settle in that way - I've tried that - didn't work for me - and it means you are vulnerable to seeing someone across a crowded room and imagining that you will find passion and love there.


It is a personal decision - I know people who marry for love, for stability, to be with their best friend, for financial reasons - it is whatever makes you sure that you can maintain your marital commitment - no one can tell you that comfort is a bad reason, just whether it would work for them.