can i get him back or should i move on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
can i get him back or should i move on?
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 11:05pm
on and off for almost 15months. he seemed all over me first then had job related problems, broke up after about 4 months of exclusive dating. I forgave him later, after 3mo break, as I thouth it was job related situation. We took off again more like friends, but it soon became very romantic, did not last long though, as he had to leave for a job in another city far away. I was heart broken all the time, as the whole situation made me feel insecure. We kept in touch, then he almost went even further to another country, that was very difficult for me, as I thought that was the end of the story. However, he decided to come back here. We had lovely few months together and a trip to Europe.

This on and off stuff had a negative affect on me, as I could not really develop trust with the guy. While in Europe, we started having little fights over nothing. I felt like my need weren't met - attention, affection, etc. Or maybe I just became oversensitive during the time of his absense and the unclarity over the relationship.

As we came back home, I continued to feel like having a bit of a space for myself, but he would take it personally. We started to conflict over nothing basically. I just needed a bit of space after the voyage stress etc., he thought I was pulling away from him. He would ged very angry and start attacking me, then I withdrew. I got a message from him saying his ex was demonstrating a lot of sullen, closed, uncommunicative behaviour and that he could not take it any more associating that with my behaviour! A few days later he breaks up with me cowardly, saying he did not know what he wanted. Later I confronted him, and he said he wanted to move on and has made up his mind. I felt devastated, rejected. It hearts really bad, as I don/t see the reason for breakup except for his hurts from the past, I there' s nothing I can do! I offered to work things over, but he said he's made up his mind. I just cant understand. Is it really over? I'm in denial. Can't believe, after all that time, and no major apparent problems!

Help! Should I move on or fight for him? Hi's away for 2 weeks