Can I salvage this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
Can I salvage this?
1
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 7:02pm
I think I may have unintentionally blown off a guy after our fourth date and I'm afraid he believes that I may have placed him in the friendship category. How can I fix this and let him know that I would like to go out with him again? Is it true that it is the woman who sets the tone of a potential relationship. Well, I have discovered that I have a problem starting relationships. Actually, I'm really afraid to be in one since I was badly burned in my last long term relationship and it could be the very reason why I don't give the guys a clear signal that I am still interested in furthering things along. I'm also rusty from dating scene since I have been out of the dating loop for a few years. These are a few things that I still need to work on.

With this guy, I would like to try harder because I do like him a lot. Our last date started off great and towards the end of the date, I think I was a bit aloof. I was a little quiet and I couldn't really look him in the eyes as we talked. I think I was afraid that he was losing interest in me while I was talking to him. When he dropped me off, we were both a little nervous. I waited for him to say something to see how he was going to set the tone, but before I knew it, I sort of dashed out of his car and told him "I'll talk to you later". I tried making up for it by sending him an email thanking him for taking me out to dinner and it was good seeing him again. A week later, I had tickets to this event and I asked him if he would be interesed but he told me he was busy that particular evening and couldn't attend. He didn't counter offer a time we can see each other again.

I called him another week later to say hi and we had a nice talk for about 20 minutes. He asked me if I would like to join him in some contest and I immediately said yes. He sounded surprised when I said yes. Then, I told him I couldn't right away because I was busy with my studies, but will definitely join him in another contest after my studies are over. I haven't heard from him since and that was almost two weeks ago. Any advice is much appreciated. I really like this guy but i'm afraid I may have blown it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 7:44pm
I just don't think he is that into you and you have pursued him aggressively enough that he has to know you are very interested. He might have been turned off by your calling and initiating when he was not responding. Just move on and be glad it was only a few dates. This kind of thing happens all the time.