can i still get him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
can i still get him?
4
Sun, 06-06-2004 - 10:28pm
I recently broke up with my boyfriend over some major issues, but also in the back of my mind I have been hoping that this guy I had a college class with would still be interested in me. I was drawn to him because he was so nice to me and liked me all semester. We discovered he is friends with childhood friends of mine. His sister dances professionally for a football team and my sister dances professionally for a hockey team. We also discovered at the end of the semester that we go to the same church. It's weird seeing him there but awesome at the same time because I could still see him. Well now I am single and was going to casually bring up the subject to him this morning when I saw him. It all seemed great until... I saw him walk in with a girl. They looked so happy and I left crying because I couldn't believe I went through this breakup only to find I was too late for him to be interested in me.

So, what I am wanting to know is now that he's taken, is there anything I can do? Should I still try to be friends with him... and... her, or should I just wait like he did for me all semester? I want him to know I'm single but I don't know how to tell him now with a girl in the way. I don't blame him for accepting I was taken and moving on. I don't want to hurt anyone but I also want him to reconsider.

I just don't think I should give up... we have weird things in common that have led me to believe I should give him a chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 06-06-2004 - 11:08pm
Did you break up with your boyfriend because of your indifferences or because you were interested in this other fella? Hopefully it was because of the first reason. Be happy that you broke up and always be reminded that there are plenty of opportunity out there. Are you sure this girl is his significant other? Maybe they are just friends. Maybe cousins? Who knows. Just casually bring up one day in class about church. Is there some function coming up like a picnic or something? Even from school is there some function, a dance a fund raiser? Use some opportunity like that to start a conversation on who he would be attending it with or what fun stuff does he do in his spare time. Non chalantly invite him to a group gathering of some sort. You get my drift? If he brings her around then you know they are a couple, if he attends from your invite he knows you are interested in him. You dont have to out right say you broke up and are a free woman. The casualness from your conversations of "hanging out with the girls or at home" will set a subtle hint.

Dont be sad. If things are meant to be then they are meant to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 12:03am
I think you are making a lot of assumptions here, unless you know who the girl is and what his relation is to her...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 8:04am
Thank you guys for the advice. THe reason I really think this is a girlfriend is because when I saw them walk in together it looked like they were holding hands but I didn't really see them until they sat down and as they were leaving he had his arm around her. Now I was hoping it would be a friend or a cousin or a sister, but even though I've never met his sister, I know she looks alot like him and has blonde hair, not brown... even though she could have dyed it. I still didn't think it was a relative... I hoped it wasn't.

But I want to be friends no matter what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 8:23am
Being friends is a good thing... that means you can ask, casually, "who was the girl I saw you with at church?"...