Can I trust my boyfriend again?
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Can I trust my boyfriend again?
| Fri, 12-10-2004 - 10:03am |
I am currently in a relationship where I have lost trust in my boyfriend. A few months ago I found that he was looking at porno on the internet as soon as I walked out the door for work. When I discovered this I was very hurt because I don't agree with men looking at that while in a serious relationship. I find it disrespectuful to myself. So we discussed it and how much it hurt me. He said he wouldn't do it again. I still felt uneasy about it and mentioned to him a few weeks ago that I do worry about it sometimes while I am at work. He reassured me that he wasn't doing it anymore. But just a few days ago he did it again. I really considered breaking up with him, because he made a promise to me and went back on it. So again, we had a discussion where I was very firm and said I am not okay with this and I can't go to work knowing that this is what he does. So again he's says he won't do it and he doesn't want to lose me over this and he is scared of that. But I have heard this before so my question is should I believe him this time. I don't want to set myself up and get hurt again it really is driving me crazy. Our sex life is fine so I really don't understand why he needs to look at stuff like that. He even agrees our sex life is great. He as no explanation as to why he looks at it. I even suggested there is a healthy way to look at this stuff in a relationship. But it needs to be done where it is non threatening to the other person. I believe both people should be involved in it if it is something one is interested in. I would choose a more subtle form of it though. I'm worried that everyday that I leave for work I will constantly be wondering what he is doing at home and that is not healthy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Should I give him one more chance?

dmb730...
END EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW!
You, like other women, have an issue with pornography. For reasons known only to yourself, you're threatened by the fact that your b/f looks at it! And irregardless of any promises he made (that he wouldn't look at pornography again)...you're going to be waiting for him to SCREW UP ONCE AGAIN!
You obviously don't trust or believe his sincerity...and face it...once TRUST is missing from a relationship, a breakup usually follows!
Pianoguy
Hi,
I have three brothers and they like to look at porn, it is not unusual for guys. They don't see it excessively (I asked them when I saw them on the site one day when I was visiting) and they say not much just once in a while. I honestly think that is what some guys do. While I am not saying that it was a good thing that your boyfriend lied, I will say that he probably did so you wouldn't leave him even though he may never have intended to stop, just ensure you wouldn't find out. In my opinion, there are much worse things they could be doing... at least they are looking and not touching (you know what I mean). I will say though that if you are incredibly bothered by it, you should break it off with him as he will probably not stop completely. Good luck to you. Lucy