Can I win him back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Can I win him back?
3
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 4:26am
I made the mistake of acting overly-emotional and critical on a date with someone I have been seeing for only about a month. Usually we have a great time going out but this time, I let my high expectations get the best of me and complained that he wasn't making enough time for me and thought he was playing games)(I guess Im used to guys who move things faster).
I called him yesterday to ask him out but he did not return my message. We had great chemistry together and I feel like I totally blew it. Can't a guy be forgiving? Im usually very laid back and non-demanding out on dates. Is there anything I can do to get him to see this, short of just giving him space? Could I apologize or would it be pointless?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 9:09am

mary7788...

Pianoguy would like to re-emphasize the flaw women (and a few men) often make...based on what you've written.

"Making comparisons" and expecting others to behave in a similar manner to that of a previous partner is A MAJOR MISTAKE!

Since you made the phone call and didn't receive any response...PLEASE PERMIT THE MAN HIS SPACE while you go about your business. If there has been no communication by Friday, call him once more. But after that...let this one go!

A thought for ivillage ladies...you don't "own" ANY MAN after dating him for just a month!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 2:30pm

I can't say it better than Pianoguy already did...

But the moral of the story is it's really premature to start criticizing and demanding time from a guy you've only been dating ONE MONTH. Personally, I think it's even premature to complain about the amount of time you're getting with ANY guy unless you have a commitment AND an agreement to spend a certain amount of time together, and somebody starts messing up.

But since you did become emotional and critical so soon in your relationship, this probably sent a big "UH-OH" message to your guy. He might be thinking that this was just the beginning of neediness and future tantrums on your part, and it would be understandable if he was taking some time out to reconsider you.

I don't think there's anything to FORGIVE, however. You simply showed a side of yourself that was likely to come out sooner or later. So I wouldn't go out of my way to apologize. Give him a few days to come back around to you. Perhaps he will put more weight on the good times you were having before this incident, and he'll want to try again.

And like PG said, if you don't hear from him by the weekend, you could call one more time and see what happens. If no response, let this one go and move on.

I wish you all the luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 9:04pm
If you don't hear from him in a few days you can send a sweet, not too long or sappy, funny even email apologizing. If you still don't hear from him, let it go.
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