Can a woman ask a man out on a firstdate

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Can a woman ask a man out on a firstdate
6
Thu, 01-12-2006 - 8:10pm

In one of my college classes, I have the biggest crush on the TA. I kinda get a feeling that he is attracted to me. I can confidently say that by his actions. When we have student/TA conferences, he always puts me till the end and waits till everyone is gone before he talks to me. One time I tried to go first and he put me last.

I missed one class and he was asking my classmates about me and he never asked about anyone else missing classes etc.

I feel we definately have an attraction towards each other. The term ends next week. I have talked to my friends and they all suggested I ask him out. First of all, I have never asked a man out on a first date. Is that acceptable. Secondly, he is my TA. Can I still ask him out. After next he won't be though as classes end.

Help!! I need suggestions!!

Thanks :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 1:35pm
Sure, it is perfectly okay to ask a guy out, even if he is your T.A. Just say casually, "I'd like to get together with you. And invite him on a "casual" date. Such as going out for coffee and dessert or out to a hangout, you and he might have talked about.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 3:09pm
I personally wouldn't. I know everyone says that it's the 21st century and that women are independent and can do the asking, blah, blah. But in my experience, me still want to be the pursuers and do the chasing. Usually if you have to do the asking, he either isn't interested enough to do it, it too lazy to do it or has some other reason for NOT asking (i.e., a girlfriend, a wife or is in some other way unavailable). Give him some time to ask you first. If he really is interested (and it sounds like he is a bit), he'll ask you. He might not due to the inappropriateness of the relationship - but with the term ending, that will be cut down.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 4:59pm

Once again, there is no rule about asking a man out, whether the first date or 21st date.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 01-14-2006 - 1:39am
Hey there, I've been in your shoes. What I did was, I asked him out for drinks after my final exam. It turned out to be a pleasant date and after that I let him do all the chasing, asking me out etc. We were together for almost 4 years. So I think it is ok to ask a guy out, but then hold back and let him do all the chasing- if he's interested, he will follow up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Sat, 01-14-2006 - 4:15am
Hmm...
I would perhaps go upto him the last day, and talk something about how the class was. I guess you might have to make sure there is no one else around? Give him some time to say something to you. Give him some space in the conversation to initiate something else. If he still doesn't, then either he is very shy, or there is some other reason stopping him. It's possible he has a GF. It's also possible he feels it's inappropriate to take that step with a student. Asking him if you'd like to join him for coffee sometime doesn't sound bad! But do that "after" you have given him a little chance to say something. His answer should surely give you more clarification. Be prepared for anything. Feel good about yourself, whatever the outcome. Goodluck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 2:15am

Definetly!

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