Can't call since cell phone is broken

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Can't call since cell phone is broken
15
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:35am

I went out on a great first date with a guy on a Friday so I was surprised when I didn't hear from him by Wednesday. So I decided to call him and see what's up and he told me that on Saturday, he dropped his cell phone and the screen went completely black. Thus, he can't see who's calling him, he can't retrieve his messages, he can't place calls, etc. but could only receive calls. He has no home phone either apparently. I wasn't sure whether I should believe him but I told him to call me next week (that weekend was Christmas weekend). He said he's not sure if he'll get it fixed or replaced by then and he told me to call him instead on Christmas weekend. I told him that I'm not going to be calling him during the holidays and that I'd call him after Christmas. So then he insisted that I call him any time if I'm bored or lonely, etc., to which I snickered and said okay. So I called him this Tuesday and got his answering machine and left a message, but unsure if he could even retrieve the message, I called him yesterday afternoon. It turns out he still did not get his phone fixed and now he's across the country on business with his boss and won't be coming back until the beginning of next week. I told him to call me when he gets back in town but now I'm not sure if he will given that he seems to be in no rush to get his phone working.

My question is, should I even bother calling this guy anymore if I don't hear from him next week? You'd think if your phone wasn't working right, you would get it fixed or replaced pretty soon and not wait almost 2 weeks to do it. I know he has the money to. I feel like I may be being played for a fool and don't want to keep caling him if that's the case. I also don't want to appear desperate but I really enjoyed our date together so I don't know if I should throw the towel in or not. What's your advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 10:08am

Nobody pays for cell phone service without having a working cell phone. His boss is getting in touch with this man somehow.

When one is dating they need a form of communication to make it work. Are you sure this guy isn't married or in a relationship with somebody else? This man sounds like he has some issues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 10:22am
I really have no way of finding out whether he's married but he's told me he's not though he would like to be in a couple of years. He lives alone as far as I know. I know many people who only have cell phones and no home phones so that isn't strange to me. And his boss and him are pretty close from what's he told me since he helped this guy out a lot in the past so his boss calls him constantly. He told me people keep calling him upset with him that he's not calling them back so it makes me wonder what he's waiting for. If he had not told me to call him at any time several times already I would have never called him after the first date or up until yesterday in the first place. I would just like him to tell me that he's not interested if that's the case instead of me playing this cat and mouse game with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 10:32am

3 months ago my house was burglarized, among other things my cell phone was stolen. I got my stuff back but burglarman had broken my cell phone in 3 pieces looking for some sort of card that wasn't there. I visited the cell phone place and had a new working better phone in 15 minutes.

That same week one of my best friends left his cell phone on a bus, 15 minutes after he realized his cell phone was being transported to points beyond he had a new working better phone from the phone store. We both enjoy our new phones.

You can draw any conclusions you want from my stories.

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 10:52am

I'd say there are VERY few, if any, men who will come right out and tell you they're not interested. IMO, he's already telling you this since he has not written down your number in order to call from his hotel room across the country, or from his office. Also, he's said to call him if you are "bored or lonely" but he hasn't made any effort to make any more plans.

If there's a will, there's a way. It sounds like this man isn't showing a will to see you again. Don't waste hopes and heartache on this guy. Move on. You deserve better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 11:02am
He does not have an office since he does physical labor and other various odd work and he's staying at a friend's house so there's no hotel room. But yeah, I was thinking that he would at least ask to write down my number the two times we spoke so he could call me from some other phone if he really wanted to. Yeah, I guess I'll just forget about him. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 12:48pm

Just to give a different side of the coin, my girlfriend had the same thing happen to her cell phone--it was dropped and the screen went black. Because of where she fell in her contract, she could not get it replaced quickly. She wound up having to fight back and forth for about 2 weeks.


I've also had cell phone problems that took me days to get a replacement phone. So ya never know. But if he is interested, I do believe he'll contact you.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 1:06pm
Okay, I considered that probability too and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. But at this point, I will go on assuming that I won't hear from him again and if he calls, great, but I don't feel anymore like calling him up if he's not reciprocating. He knows I'm interested and there's nothing more I can do. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 2:40pm

You may want to revisit some of your expectations here. Let's be perfectly clear for a few moments. After a single date, you have not earned the privilege to be considered the top priority in his life. He is not going to fundamentally change his schedule, obligations and priorities just to suit you based on a few hours of time together.

He likely had somewhere between 24 and 36 hours to replace his phone prior to leaving town for business reasons. It is unrealistic to expect him to replace his phone and contact you while he is away.

When he returns from this trip he will call you if he has interest and time. When he calls, you have the choice to say Yes or No. Until then, it was just a few hours of time investment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 3:41pm
Let's be perfectly clear that I don't expect him to change anything in his life on my account. I did not imply in any way that I think I'm a priority in his life and I told him to call me when he comes back, and that's all. He's the one who's been encouraging my calling him and I had no idea he was out of town until I called yesterday at which time I did not tell him to call me while he's away. And I just said in the previous post that I'm going to proceed with the assumption that he's not going to call. Please read things clearly before making assumptions about people because of your own baggage. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 4:00pm

But you're worried about being played like a fool because he didn't replace his phone in accordance to your expectations and that it may take him a week or so to contact you again. Because of this you are considering throwing in the towel.

You have no obligation to contact him again. The ball is in his court.

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