Can't remember if I have sex with him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Can't remember if I have sex with him
6
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 2:17pm

Hi there!

I have dated a guy for a month. During one of the dates he told about his past relationship and about a girl who he treat as a friend but developed feeling for each other but she went to further her studies but they don't think long distant relationship will work for them. I did not give him any comment or any advise. After hearing that, I decided not to get to close to him and get myself hurt. But he always text me everyday without fail and being a nice gal, I always replied back. The following week he told that he will spend few days with the 'friend' when she back in town. I was a little bit upset and turn him down when he ask me out. But after a week of not meeting, I went out for dinner and end back to his place. We had a good talk, drink 1 half bottle of wine and started to get physical with each other and half way through I passed out. I woke up the next morning, the only thing I remembered that he refer me as a friend and I asked him, so did he always get intimate with all his friends? And I cried. I did not know if we have sex. How embarrassing, it never happened to me before. I bolted off like what most guys did.

To my surprise, he called when he realized that I'm gone. He asked me if I'm alright and I just told him that I don't want to disturb his sleep and we will talk later. I text him and apologized for spilling wine on his bed, rattling, crying and passing out and asked him to call me when he free but he did not. The next day he replied to my text saying not to worry and the whole thing was funny. Its being four days he has not text me and it just not like him.

My question is, is he angry because I left without telling him. Should I text and asked him if we had sex and why he has not call me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 6:07pm

There's no way to know for sure what happened. If you did have sex, then there might have been signs like being wetter than usual when you woke up, and smelling different than usual. You should assume in any case that you might well have had sex and you need to deal with any consequences of that since if you did, you also don't know if condoms were used. You should consider going to get emergency contraception, and you should ask your doctor about getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

You can't really expect him to call. For him this was nothing more than a meaningless hookup since you know there's another girl he likes, although apparently isn't actually committed to. You need to make sure in the future that you don't go home with strange guys and drink to the point of blacking out. Anything can happen in those situations as you already know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 6:55pm
I agree with kellyann_25. Your vaginal area would show signs of having sex, like seminal or vaginal fluid or tender or if your clothes were not on when you woke up. Do you feel you were drugged? If so you may want to contact the police dept.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 12:02am
Maybe the guy drugged you that night and tha's why you passed out. Have you passed out before? It's sketchy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 11:27am
I agree - sketchy. I have never been drugged and passed out before but it has to be terrifying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 1:02pm


I don't really noticed or felt as what you guys describing. So maybe we did not have sex after all.Talking about being drugged, I think I drugged myself accidentaly. Few hours before meeting him, I had a terrible headache and I took a pill for it.Guess alcohol+medication ,caused me to pass out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 8:52pm
I guess you took one heck of an aspirin to pass out from a couple of drink. But at least you know what happened to you now.