Caught Between Friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Caught Between Friends
3
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:40pm
About four weeks ago I lost my virginity to a guy I met in February. His name? Sean.

Since the day Sean and I met, there's been a mutual attraction between us. However, about a week after having sex with Sean, I realized, unlike me, he is not ready to be in a committed relationship. And so, even though I am still physically attracted and emotionally attached to Sean, I decided I should date other guys in the meantime.

The guy I am dating now? Sean's friend and roommate, Ethan.

Is this a big no-no? Am I asking for trouble by dating Sean's friend and roommate when I am still attracted/attached to Sean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 2:07pm
Yes, I think you are asking for trouble. Does Ethan know that you lost your virginity to his roommate? Bad situation any way you look at it. But, dont' take just my advice, I'm sure a lot of people will post to your message. Read them all and use the information you read to come to your own conclusion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 7:27pm
I'm not sure if Ethan knows I lost my virginity to Sean. The night I lost my virginity, Ethan was in his bedroom, which is adjacent to Sean's, and he knew I was with Sean in Sean's room. How much of what Sean and I were doing that night I'm not sure Ethan knows. If he does know, it doesn't seem to bother him because he hasn't mentioned the issue.

Even though I sincerely like Ethan, I wonder if it's not a good idea to date him while I'm still very much attracted and attached to Sean...?

Also, I am worried Ethan thinks I am just using him to get to Sean. He asked me- flat out- if he was just the messenger. I told him he wasn't, but I'm not sure if he believes me.

What are my options? Should I cease to date Ethan until I am no longer emotionally attached to Sean? Or will I always be emotionally attached to Sean because he was my first and is this something I will just have to deal with for the rest of my life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 9:42pm
I definitely would NOT get involved with Ethan. Not only because he's Sean's roommate, but because you haven't gotten over SEan. Would that be fair to Ethan if he genuinely likes you? Separate yourself the the situation entirely. You just broke up with Sean. Give yourself some room to breath.