Chaos during break up
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Chaos during break up
| Mon, 11-14-2005 - 1:55am |
My boyfriend and I of almost 3 years broke up a month ago. The relationship was great in the beginning. There were problems though. He didnt trust me becuase of past relationships. He also never talked to me when he had a problem, whether it was related to our relationship or not. Right from the beginning he told me that if we ever broke up, it would be because of something I did. In other words telling me that it was my responsibility to not let that happen. He was always telling me how when we broke up that he would take back the things he had bought for me, which he didnt.
At first things were great, we were highschool sweethearts. We started going out in our senior year. It was great. He really has a good heart, and great morals. He always watched out for me, helped me make good decisions. Probably was the greatest person in my life. But there is a catch. Since we were highschool sweet hearts, he took my virginity. Which is good, but as we got older I started to realize that there were other people that I would like to be with in my life. I starting thinking, "Is he the only person I will ever sleep with?" I wanted to experience the joy of sex that all my girlfriends were talking about. I wasnt about to cheat so I ended the relationship. anyway to make a long story short. He thinks that I am the one that he will marry. I am the only person he ever wants to be with. I know that he loves me. I know that i love him, but its not the same kind of love. You are always some how attatched to your first love no matter what happens. My problem is that he wants me back. We actually broke up twice, so I have gone back to him, but we only were broke up for a few days. So we rushed back into things. We got an apartment together, things were ok then, but after only a month I asked him to leave. I love his heart, but am not sexually satisfied. I dont know what to do. It tears me up inside that I cant feel the same way as he does. I also love being single. Since we broke up this last time I have reconnected with a couple of my exes that I have always wondered about. I have explained to him that I want to be friends, he understands but still tries to be with me. My options are either we go back out or I lose him completely. I know that just being friends with him wont work because of his strong feelings for me. But Im so confused I dont know what to do any more. Any suggestions?
At first things were great, we were highschool sweethearts. We started going out in our senior year. It was great. He really has a good heart, and great morals. He always watched out for me, helped me make good decisions. Probably was the greatest person in my life. But there is a catch. Since we were highschool sweet hearts, he took my virginity. Which is good, but as we got older I started to realize that there were other people that I would like to be with in my life. I starting thinking, "Is he the only person I will ever sleep with?" I wanted to experience the joy of sex that all my girlfriends were talking about. I wasnt about to cheat so I ended the relationship. anyway to make a long story short. He thinks that I am the one that he will marry. I am the only person he ever wants to be with. I know that he loves me. I know that i love him, but its not the same kind of love. You are always some how attatched to your first love no matter what happens. My problem is that he wants me back. We actually broke up twice, so I have gone back to him, but we only were broke up for a few days. So we rushed back into things. We got an apartment together, things were ok then, but after only a month I asked him to leave. I love his heart, but am not sexually satisfied. I dont know what to do. It tears me up inside that I cant feel the same way as he does. I also love being single. Since we broke up this last time I have reconnected with a couple of my exes that I have always wondered about. I have explained to him that I want to be friends, he understands but still tries to be with me. My options are either we go back out or I lose him completely. I know that just being friends with him wont work because of his strong feelings for me. But Im so confused I dont know what to do any more. Any suggestions?

Immediately after a relationship ends it isn't very good idea to try to be friends because both of you need to get back on your feet and move on. I suggest being an adult and letting this man go on with his life. I know you have a strong bond but if you want to be with other men then don't put a knife into this man's heart by trying to maintain a friendship.
Good luck.