Cheating can I forgive him

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Cheating can I forgive him
4
Wed, 12-08-2004 - 11:10am
I was a senior in highschool. Me and my boyfriend had been dating for 3 months. He was so sweet. I just got out of a serious 2 1/2 year relationship, but that didn't matter anymore. This was the guy I loved. We were talking about getting engaged and picked out a ring. Well a month later I was 18 and 2 months pregnant. He I guess got scared and cheated on me with a mutial friend. It was a non stop thing for a year. He would be with her for a couple months and then he would be with me. Well this got to the point where his parent's didn't like me but they loved her. They let her move in with him. That lasted about 2 months.We had a 3month pre-mature baby and we were together and then broke up again. But in July of this year he decided he wants to be with me. We have a house now and we have been together ever since. I know I am not as happy as I was because I was so hurt. I don't know what it is. This gril still comes around his mom and family but they are nice to me but I don't come around much because they don't like me. Like Thanksgiving this year she came over but I wasn't invited. Just things like that. Well 3 days ago she told a mutial friend of ours that she is engaged to another mutial friend. Ever since then my boyrfirend has been acting weird almost like he is sad. Do you think that I am just scared or what. Also he is not that nice to me. I mean he never says he loves me and he trys to show out infront of his friends. Like make fun of me infromt of them. Everyone knows that he is joking but still he doesn't do it when they are not around. Do you think this will ever work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 3:58pm
No. He doesn't have respect for you. But you have respect for yourself. Don't bother with this guy, he's not worth your time.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 11:20pm
No unless things change drastically. Why is he making fun of you? Have you expressed to him that you feel hurt when he does this? No partner should make the other feel undermined...this might feed into or ignite feelings of unworthiness, etc. Also, why did his parents not invite you over for thanksgiving dinner when you are the mother of their grandchild and their son's partner? This strikes me as particularly fishy since it is a blatant display of them not being a. invested b. suppportive of your relationship. Plus, the whole on again and off again aspect of your relationship makes me believe that he is not entirely sure about the relationship either...plus, you say he doesn't tell you that he loves you anymore?
If you want to salvage this relationship - you have to confront these problems heads on. Hopefully your partner will work with you to fix these issues so that you can move on and have a productive, healthy, and loving relationship.
However, if he is not responsive and does not want to collaborate with you...it is simply not going to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 9:20am
Forgiveness is easier said than done. My ex boyfriend cheated on me and we ended up getting back together. It was never the same. I was always thinking about how much her hurt me and I could never trust him again.
You are still young, don't waste your life on someone who does not respect you.
Take care!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 2:32pm
Only you see yourself in the mirror everyday. Make decisions so that you feel good about yourself afterwards; not horrible or uncomfortable.
You don't want to see yourself as the one who gave your S.O. 5-6 chances to stop cheating on you and he is now asking for 10 more chances. Don't put yourself in that corner.