Cheating. How to get over it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Cheating. How to get over it.
1
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 12:51pm
My aunt has been seeing a man for the past four years. We'll call him D. D's friend M told her at the beginning that he wasnt what he seemed. Dizzy in love, she ignored him. M's girlfriend told my aunt that D had dated her friend, E, (who was married) while he was dating a girl named K. Well, when D was tired of E, he went to her husband and told him about the relationship. He divorced her, and D carried on with K. My aunt, as we all do sometimes, ignored the story and stayed with D. A year into their relationship, K cameto her house and told her that she was still seeing him. When my aunt confronted D, he said it was because K was crazy- and he would have rather had her on his good side then his bad side. He promised to never speak to K again, and my aunt took him back. Now, this past weekend, K came back to my aunts house. She told my aunt that she has been seeing D for the past 2 months. They decided to go to D's house and confront him. He was not there. My aunt called him and left him a heartbreaking voice mail. He never returned her call. However, K called later that morning to tell my aunt that D had called her and apologized. She took him back. He has not called my aunt. Yesterday morning, she went to his house to confront him. He told her he was going to call the police. She hasnt spoken to him since.

My aunt is not a dumb woman, She is highly intelligent, has a well paying job and can support herself. She is one of the nicest people you will ever meet; always doing things to help others. She is so upset because this has happened. She cries all the time, and she cannot believe that D has done this to her. (By the way- he is also one of the nicest people ive ever met. He was always paying her bills for no reason and showering her with gifts and "i love you's") How can i help my aunt get over this jerk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 12:57pm
Well, I think the only thing you can do is be there for her. Let her cry her eyes out and spill her heart out. Don't say anything, just be there and listen. Doesn't matter what happened and how you feel about the guy, she needs to get over it in her own time. She is grieving not only the end of the relationship, but the fact that he was lying to her. That's a big blow!

So just be supportive and be there.

Alison

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