cheating? what would u do stay go?
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| Mon, 02-06-2006 - 6:38am |
I am so undecided on what to do and want to ask for some advice. If you are in a relationship were you have a gut feeling that something is wrong in that you think in some way your mate is not being faithful but you have no concrete evidence what would you do? Would you leave? Would you stay and just deal with these feelings until you know for sure or not?
My BF of a year acts shady in that he is locking his phone when he sleeps, takes his phone in the shower with him, always has it on him or around him within hands reach. When he goes places with his friends I am not invited and when I ask if I can go he says no. He will not let me see his phone ever and when I look over at him when he is using it or reading a text message he covers the phone or put it down so I dont see it. He is very secretive too were when I ask him where he is going he says I dont know a lot of the time. He is with me every nite and he does not go out a lot but I do work alot and I do have to work nites some times too so I am not with him all the time. I dont have any concrete evidence that he is doing anything but I have this feeling that something is wrong. How do I find out? or if I have no trust right know is it worth keeping?

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Hmmm, whether he's cheating or not, all you can do is evaluate what he's showing you ... and that is, he's showing and telling you that he likes the attention of other women (to the point at which he's bragging about it) and that he likes to go places without you so that he can soak up attention from other girls. Sounds like a classic case of a "guy who has a girlfriend, but doesn't really WANT a girlfriend." Seems like what he WANTS is the attention of as many women who are willing to pay attention to him. So, regardless of whether or not he's acting on this attention ... what you DO know is that he's showing you and telling you that enjoys the attention of other girls. So much so that he'd prefer to not have you out with him.
As for his attachment to his phone ... has there been any snooping on your part in the past? (by no means blaming you, but ... it's a common theme here when we hear stuff like this happening ... so, I've got to ask)
Did you say that you've been going out with this guy for a year now? And he has always been like this? Part of what's important to me in a relationship is the honesty and openness between the two people involved. And since you have been going out with him for that long already, I think you have the right to sit down and have a talk with him about your concern. Do tell him what you feel about his being so "secretive". Basically you feel very uncomfortable about this (at least from what I gather from your post), and ask him why he is doing this too. I think that you deserve to get an explanation of that, and if, after having talked nicely with him about this, he still hasn't opened up and gives a lame excuse like "I don't know" or something along those lines, then in my opinion, it is time to seriously consider whether or not you want to continue this relationship with him.
You need to watch out for yourself above all else, and you can't keep going on wondering whether or not he is being unfaithful to you. It's just going to eat you up inside, and that's very unhealthy. The best way to find out what one's intentions/motives are is to talk to that person involved, in this case, your BF.
AM
It is sounding more to me that you are just a companion more than anything. Sure you are always together every night (or whenever you are not working), but the fact that he feels he is free to go out and do his own thing, and he does not even take you along with him to parties, etc. and introduce you to his other friends, then I really don't see any type of meaningful relationship here. He doesn't seem to see you as important enough to "show" in public that you are his girl and that he feels so much for you. I also do not agree that you are just a "booty call" but what this all boils down to is that you are just a convenience for him. You really should rethink this "relationship" that you have with him, and also, start thinking about the relationship you have (or lack thereof) with yourself.
AM
Sorry
I am sorry to say but he is cheating. How I know the same situation just happened to me and I found out the hard way when I called him and his supposed ex-fiance answered the phone. He never used to let me by his phone and he was with me 5 days a week that dosen't mean anything he still found time to be with her. People that cheat are the best liars remember that. The best advice I could give you try to get his phone while he is sleeping or something it may sound bad to do but it is only to benefit yourself look at sent and recieved texts and for phone numbers you don't know. I wish I would have done that cause then maybe I wouldn't be as heartbroken as I am now.
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