Chronically Late Boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Chronically Late Boyfriend
2
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:24am
I love my boyfriend to death, but my biggest complaint is that he is always ALWAYS late for everything!! I'm not just talking 15-20 minutes...I'm talking 1-2 hours or MORE. It's not something he does intentionally--he just tries to fit too many things on his plate, thinking he has time to fit everything in, but he never does. And despite my explaining to him how this bothers me and makes me feel like I'm second fiddle, I realize this is how he is and I can't change the man. HOWEVER...today he is supposed to meet me at noon so we can go to my cousin's for the weekend. My cousin lives 3 hours away, and she's planned the evening based on our arrival time. I've already padded MY schedule (a little, not a lot), allowing for my boyfriend's almost certain lateness...but I already know what he's trying to fit into his schedule this morning and I just have a feeling he's going to be REALLY late again (he's going to get a haircut, try to fix something on his brother-in-law's truck, and visit with his little nephews). I just want to know--how long should I wait? Should I leave his ass and go without him? Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with a chronically late boyfriend???
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 1:58pm

Well, hope he made it on time?

Well, don't leave without him this particular time since u r going out of town and you both should go together since u r invited together, but, I feel, in the future, in another situation, try that approach. sounds harsh but this way, he will know that u r not always there trying to put up with this. his being late might be ok (as in, not having as many negative consequences) in some situations but in other urgent situations, it could really hurt. and it's not a good habit...and more than anything else, u r being affacted by it. does he accept this is a problem? do you usually try to be accomodating when he is late, or do u show that u r really upset? perhaps, the day he gets really affected by this himself, is the day he might wanna change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2006
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 2:03pm
This obviously bothers you a lot, so you need to have a serious sit down discussion with him about it, maybe even help him plan his schedule a little better. However, as a short term fix I suggest doing something that I always do with my best friend. She always has the excuse "I was just heading out the door and something came up!" After we realized this, we started telling her that we were getting together two hours before we really were. She is still never early for anything, but at least she's not very late either. I think that after you have waited for an hour for your guy to show up for an important event like the one you mention, it's fine to leave without him. You have a perfectly sound reasoning for it. Good luck.