Comes on hot then turns it cold

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Comes on hot then turns it cold
1
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 6:35am
I met someone and we had the very best first date; no sex, all talking, laughing and getting to know each other. We spent so much time together that we both had to nap (at our own places) the next day to catch up. Following that, he IM'd me and gushed how his friends were all jealous because "he was with the prettiest girl last night" (I did not meet or see his friends) and that he'd "been thinking about me all day."

Then, the next day was the same; he called me and kind of hints around for a while that he'd like to get together. He's talking about getting curtains for his house. I sense his excitement at me and I feel that his "home improvement" has something to do with me. The conversation eventually winds into us getting together and spending time together. Then, Monday came along and he talks about moving slowly. Every single thing that had been said and done simply discontinued. We've gotten together only two more times in the two weeks. He talks about moving slowly but when we get together, the interaction between us is good and very passionate. It seems impossible for him to move slowly, and I am trying so hard to do it for both of us. Then again, the time is over and the interaction turns into nothing. I'm not hearing from him and if I do, it seems we're talking about the weather and the tone of voice is different, even. It is like he tucked away the tender part of him.

I think it is fear but it comes off as "player." Maybe its "player" and I just don't know. Please tell me your ideas about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 5:59pm
Maybe he really likes you and is eager, but then worries about seeming too eager, so he backs off.

Try not to read too much into what is or is not going on. Just enjoy the time you do spend with him and tell him when you are having fun.

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