Commitment Issues
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| Sat, 12-17-2005 - 6:25pm |
Hey all,
Ok- I have a big issue that I do with every guy I have ever dated. The first month of a relationship goes great- we get to know each other, we have fun together, etc. Then about half way through the second month of a relationship-I start to get weird. I realize that I'm starting to like this guy, and become scared that he'll realize that he doesn't like me and will hurt me. After this feeling, I start to pick at the person I'm with-every tiny miniscule thing that person does that I don't like, it pisses me off, like BIG time. By the fourth month, I don't even like the guy anymore and break things off with him- usually breaking his heart (I know that sounds cocky, but everyguy I've dated has tried for a minimum of a year afterwards trying to get back together with me). I'm with a great guy right now-this is actually our second try at the relationship, and we just hit a month and a half mark-and I'm doing it again. And I don't want to! How can I stop jeopardizing my relationships and remain happily in one?
Any suggestions would be VERY MUCH appreciated! Thank you!
SS

The great thing is that you know your issue... now comes the work: You have to stop yourself. If you can't then maybe talking to a third party such as a counselor would help. When you see yourself picking, you have to stop yourself. There is a reason why you're afraid of being liked, but only you know that. Is it because you feel you don't deserve it?
Think about the root causes and that will give you the answers you need to change your behavior...
Hope this helps.
sexiesweet...
Pianoguy suggests you AVOID MATCHING YOURSELF WITH ANYBODY....and try and enjoy the relationship for whatever it happens to be! You might have the personality to be a great friend, but scare the u-know-what out of a guy if you push things any further?
Consider this?
It's entirely possible you're giving off "vibes" that can make almost any man uncomfortable? Most of us aren't ready to 'settle down and get serious' after we've only dated a person for a month!
So please....S-L-O-W-D-O-W-N!
Pianoguy
None of us here could possible understand what your specific issues are and what is triggering this behavior. I strongly recommend you find a counselor so you can delve into your past and understand why you have trust issues.
Good luck.