Communication and V-day

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Communication and V-day
4
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 12:58pm

Hi,
I have been having a sometimes frustrating relationships with a decent guy for the past two months. We have been seeing each other two times a week. I drive to his house or we see a movie near his work, since I live with my parents in a rural area. I have met his friends. We like each other and get along well.

One problem is that he does not like the phone, so he only emails. Also he only has email at work, so this further limits our time for communication. I find the lack of phone communication annoying. I also feel like it is difficult to stay connected between dates with only a few lines of email. We have talked on the phone a few times when making plans, but I am hesitant to call him, since I know he does not like it.

I saw him Friday night and now have not heard from him, which does not seem like a big deal, except that we have been physical, so I would like to hear from him sooner.

Also he has not mentioned valentine's day and I am at the point where I want to tell him I have other plans. I do not want to seem too available.

He says many nice things to me and I belive he likes me, but I feel that his efforts to woo me are lacking a bit. I do not want to appear desperate, but I also want to be respected.

btw- I do not think he is using me for sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 3:10pm

This man doesn't like the phone so he only emails, he only has email at work. If one is in a relationship with another person communication should be accessible. He could be getting something from being able to compartmentalize this relationship, giving you access only through email and when he is at work.

It is time to have an honest discussion with this man and tell him that he should make himself available by phone. Promise no long drawn out phone calls.

The fact that he is ignoring VD seems consistent, no VD celebration and he is able to keep you at arm's length.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 7:45pm

It's only been two months, not enough time to get to know you. Don't be too eager to rush into a relationship. It takes time and the fact that he doesn't like to talk on phones doesn't give you much of an opportunity to get to know him.

Give it time, if you want more of a relationship than sending and receiving emails, move on. Otherwise, be patient, he might speed up his wanting to get to know you. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 11:33am

He definitely is being lackluster here.

,
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:17pm

To that I would add that the OP should not "SAY" she's unavailable, but "BE" unavailable. Go ahead and make plans for yourself, even if it's just shopping alone for the evening, or going to a coffee shop and reading a book or magazine.

Also, have you discussed with him being exclusive?