Completely Confused
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| Sat, 06-19-2004 - 9:26pm |
You know the movie Jerry McGuire ? The scene where she comes out to the backyard and has that discussion with Jerry ( Tom Cruise ), "I have this great guy, and he really loves my son, and he sure does like me alot."
Well, I was talking along with her as she was saying it and a few other lines from that scene. My Boyfriend looks at me and says, " don't you dare think of leaving me".
There were a few other times, he'd say that to me as well. Which made me feel good, knowing that he didn't want to lose me.
After Christmas he seemed to change, he stopped telling me he loves me, and I only get any "real" attention/affection is when he wants "something".
We've had a few discussions on all this, and now a year later, I bring up the stop of the sayings of the love you's, and needing more affection, and I get this from him, "I can't say I don't love you, but I can't say I do Love you" and "Can I say your the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, ..No", but he knows He couldn't find another person who would put up with all of his crap and not give him the 3rd degree if he is out for a long time playing pool, etc etc. He also told me that he had thought of having me get my own place and still continuing the relationship. BUT I told him if I move out, The relationship would be completely over, because I'd always be worrying if he wasn't out trying to find someone else or going to some darn matchmakin website.
the funny thing is, he also said, he worries every time I go out myself, afraid I was out with someone else, or out trying to find someone else... So he acts like he doesn't want to lose me
There is a bit more to this, but it would end up being a novel, but my question is this,
It sounds to me like he is confused himself, So Should I wait for him to make up his mind on what he wants or Does he just want to end the relationship but doesn't know how to tell me without hurting me ??

"Now keep in mind, he isn't the real touchy, cuddly, kind of guy and I am the complete opposite. I knew this, but thought if he knew I wouldn't cheat on him like some of his past relationships he would become more affection down the road, etc... but it still hasn't happened."
It sounds like you are hoping that you can influence a significant change in him so that he better fits your ideal man definition. Could this be the source of your confusion? I have to wonder if you still want that ideal man image, hoped he would change for you, yet he has remained fairly consistent for the entire year. I wonder if some resentment is building in you since he has not changed as you have hoped. If these statements are even somewhat true then I can understand the source of your confusion.
Bottom line is you can accept him for who and what he is without any resentment or reconsider the relationship so you can find a man similar to what you really want. Hoping or expecting him to change isn't much of an option.
Now, I just have to figure out how to get out, with my fixed income, ( bills, daughter, grocery, etc etc ) How to get enough money for a deposit and monthly rent and still be able to live. I have been savin a little here and there, but nothing that can really help me right now and my credit is so bad it's not even funny.