Complex situation!!! 2men(online n real)
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| Thu, 08-12-2004 - 2:25am |
I am so confused!!
Well, I got myself into this, but what do I do now?
I could hv posted this on different boards because of the complexity of the situation. But here's the thing.
Got a guy who I had a relationship with for 2 years...didn't work out well from my side. I was kinda unhappy(I just didn't feel the thing with him) but I was still with him coz I was truly attached to him, and thought I shd make it work somehow. He loves me a LOT and wants to get married to me.
One day I got online to kill time & b'coz I was feeling lonely, and met this guy..got talking as friends and the bottom line is we have fallen in love!! I never expected it. He lives on the other side of the globe. We hv never met. But we get along great! I love him, he loves me back.
Just when I was digesting the whole thing, and wondering how to tell my bf about this, he found out (somehow). BAD situation! But the end result is, he said he wants to let me go coz he wants me to be happy, a happiness which he couldnt provide for me. He said he knew I wasn't "in love" with him. He says he wishes me the best, and is always gonna be around for me, and still loves me, and that I am STILL THE girl for him, and that he'll always love me, and that he doesn't wanna marry anyone but me. He is heartbroken.
The online guy knows bout my relationship, and is very supportive, and wants me to make the best decision.
The situation now is......
I am ending up seeing both guys everyday!! I wanna be there for my ex(not yet ready to call him that!) during this difficult time, we call each other often during the day to see how the other is doing, he is very lonely..and when we do meet, he says he misses me etc and loves me and is very jealous bout the online guy and is not able to accept someone else in my heart. Today, we hugged and i ended up saying i loved him too. i really do care for my guy and feel for him. the words just came out of me.
And when I talk to my online guy..who I have no known for only 2 months...i feel wonderful. we have mutual attraction, mutual feelings of love, a great compatibility and we laugh a lot. everything is so good. yet, we r confused whether we will still feel this way when we meet??? we hv no idea when we will meet! it's gonna take a whole lotta money to travel...almost $1,500 for me to go travel, and much much more than that for him to come see me. it's gonna be a while b4 we meet.
I am ending up feeling extremely guilty everyday coz when I speak with the online guy, i feel really bad for my exbf and wanna be there for him, and when i speak with my exbf, i feel like i am betraying my online guy!! life feels like a mess, and it's a really difficult and confusing time for me.
shd i truly give up my real life relationship (where this guy knows me inside out and wants to marry me) for a guy who i am in love with but have never met and no idea when we will ever meet?
how can i deal with this sensitive situation?
shd i end both relationships? this thought has occurred to me.
I take full responsibility for getting myself into this mess.
Please advise.....
Thank you so much..

You say that both men know about each other. Well, think about this -- the only one really hurting is your r-l bf. Your fantasy man doesn't seem to mind sharing you. And that is what he is - fantasy. He knows he will probably never meet you face to face and is getting from you something he perhaps is missing in his own life, which is romance without responsibility.
You need to take a good look at yourself in the mirror, lady. The choice you have to make is not WHO you choose, but WHAT kind of person do you really want to be?
MB
You should not stay with someone with the hopes that things will change and work out. You stayed with someone out of either guilt or a sense of duty to him, right? Well, in doing that you are not allowing either of you to move on and find real love.
So then because you are feeling unfufilled you turn to some stranger on the internet. Hate to break it to you, but there are CREEPS out there, you know! I would not bother with some guy on the other side of the world, what's wrong with dating someone closer to home? I seriously worry when you say, "it's gonna take a whole lotta money to travel...almost $1,500 for me to go travel, and much much more than that for him to come see me. Why would the cost be higher from one end to the other, and why would you want to travel around the world to meet a stranger?
I think you need to leave both of them and find someone closer to home that does fufill what you are looking for.