Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Confused
2
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 6:51am

Okay...I'd been dating this guy for 4 months and he recently broke it off with me saying "it was going too well" and he needed to sort some stuff out. I had (still have) really strong feelings for him and even though we'd only been together for a short time I thought he was "the one". He maintains it is just the wrong timing and keeps saying that he needs to settle down with work, his daughter and buying a place.

Now the confusing thing is he keeps contacting me. He keeps sending emails that are familiar (he uses nicknames, signs off with kisses and says he's thinking about me and to take care).

I want him to come back to me and I think he might when/if he gets his career sorted and finds a place to live but I don't want to build myself up if there is no hope for this.
He's just sending really mixed messages and I don't know what to think or feel. Help! Will he want me back? Why do guys do this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: peachykaye
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 9:27am
As harsh as this sounds, it seems like he's keeping you in "reserve". I'm not saying there are other women in the picture, it just sounds like he's not ready and wants to make sure you're around just in case he gets things "figured out". It's not the right time and for whatever reason, he's not available. You need to look at it as a friendship and move on, for now. It's harder to move on than to wait around, but you need to do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: peachykaye
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 12:04pm

I have some experience with this. You say:

"I'd been dating this guy for 4 months and he recently broke it off with me saying "it was going too well" and he needed to sort some stuff out. "

Um, people often don't break things off if it is "going too well". My guess is that he likes you but doesn't want to be in a relationship. But he likes the fact that you like him, or are willing to talking to him, be friendly or verbally intimate and he doesn't want to lose that, hence the emails.

I kind of like the way you say "when/if he gets his career sorted". I guess you may know in your heart he isn't that motivated.