Confused
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Confused
| Wed, 11-03-2004 - 9:59am |
I started dating Roy last December. He is 36 years old and was married for 14 years and has been divorced now for 2 years this December. His wife was unfaithful not sexually that he knows of but she did get very emotionally involved with another man. She also was the one that filed for divorce. I too was married for 8 1/2 years and have been divorced for over three years now. Here's my dilemma, When me and Roy first started dating we became very fond of each other very fast. We talked on the phone all the time spent what ever time we could with each other. However 4 months into the relationship Roy started having some personal problems, financial and some other things. He pulled completely away from me and I tried to be supportive and keep the relationship together. At some point though I gave up. I just felt like I had to come to terms with the fact that he no longer wanted this so I could move on. During this period that was only a couple of weeks another gentleman asked me out. I did not accept an instant invitation but I did give him my phone number and he would call me quite often and leave messages on my phone. At some point Roy came back and said that he didn't want to loose me and that he was ready to put his issues behind him and have a serious committed relationship with me. I of course accepted, any way about a week into this he found out that there was another guy that had tried to pursue me and I guess he started getting a bad feeling or something. One day when he called my phone and got my voicemail and for whatever reason he accessed my voice messages. He heard some of the messages that the other gentleman had left and he was very hurt. In fact he would not speak to me for three days. When I did confront him and he told me what he heard on how he heard them I was upset for what he did. However I felt guilty that I had those and didn't feel like I could blame him too much and we ended up reconciling. Except this time he would not commit to me. He said he was scared to and wasn't completely sure why. So over the next 6 months he slowly began to pull away form me. There was another occasion about 3 months later that he found out that me & this gentleman had spoken on the phone and he wanted time away to try to "figure things out". Which only lasted about 10 days and he wanted me back in his life. I ember one time during one of our breakups he came by the house and I was asleep so he left a note on my car that at the end said "I just can't seem to be able to stay away". He has always told me that he wants to be with me but he doesn't know what he wants. This has made for a very bumpy last 6 months. We'll be together and he'll pull away in some way I get upset and react and then well end up not seeing each other for a week or two then well get back together and do it all again. He has always maintained that he cares for me very much and wants to be with me and misses me very much when were apart, but when we are together he always keeps me at a distance that hurts and upsets me. I care very deeply for this guy and I feel very responsible for allot that has happened between us but I don't know what to do. I know that some people might just say he's not interested, but the fact is he was very much interested and wanted to commit until I hurt him. Where can I go from here?
Signatures On
| Wed, 11-03-2004 - 7:14pm |
I think he's interested, but you're getting all these different messages from him because he's NOT ready to be in a relationship. He's hot and cold because he's on one day and off the next...wait for someone who sends out a steady green signal and forget about this guy.
