Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Confused
5
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 7:41am
Dear All,

I would like to take your opinion, as I’m so confused. It all started a month ago, when I decided to join that dating site, after posting my personal ad I went through profiles, I stopped at several profiles, but only one I gazed at so much and I wished we could get to know each others, both his profile and pic seemed good to me. On the next day I found a wink from him, so I winked back, so we started mailing, and as all of the on-line experiences I know about failed and some of them turned to be scary and this is my first time to try this method, I was so afraid to take any step further than chatting, we chatted for 3 full days from our offices, the conversation was so smooth, we have so much in common and speak the same language.. And it happened that we both typed the same things at the same times, please don’t get me wrong or say that I’m a big dreamer, imp so realistic, and normally I don’t have high hopes, but for this I was so happy and optimistic.

I didn’t even bother of other members at this site who showed interest in me.

But as I was playing it safe and very cautious, his excitement about meeting me faded out, and after being nice to me for those couple of days, he ignored me for the rest of the week, he asked me out 3 times and I refused, he asked me for my real name, I didn’t give it easily, he asked for my pic, I showed him some of mine on the msn but didn’t send him

Any, and he begged to start a phone encounter at least, he gave me his office number to call him and I didn’t, saying it is just too soon, and its not something personal about him, its just this whole situation is new to me. He said that he understands, but what is annoying him is keeping the PC between us and he doesn’t want to put high hopes on something, then we meet and find that there is no chemistry on the real life and that like this we will be wasting each others time..Then, he started ignoring me, and when I asked a friend of mine for her advise, she blamed me of over reacting and I should make a move.. so I could him in his office, he was really surprised and happy, we chatted on the phone for a couple of minutes and then we hanged up to continue our conversation on line, but we didn’t as he was playing the busy man all day. On the weekend, I logged in and sent him an email saying that I figured out that he was right and we should take a step forward and gave him my mobile number, but I never got a reply from him since then, not an e-mail or a phone call, even he blocked me from his contact list, as he was always appearing off line, while he mentioned before that he is always on line from his office.

I was hurt and annoyed for a while, and then I decided to forget about it. Today I found him on-line and initiated the chat, then I said that I want to ask a question and need a straight answer, he told me to shoot, so I asked him if he is still interested in me or not.. He didn’t answer so I asked him why it’s difficult to answer with either yes or no, he didn’t answer back, I called him in his office, they told me that he is in a meeting, I waited for him on line but he went off line, I called him back in the office he was gone for a meeting out side.

I know this may sound silly to all of you, but I don’t know what is wrong with me, I feel attached to him in a way and I feel so much connected to him, a feeling that I didn’t feel when I first met my ex-fi, I’m just afraid that he could be the one. As I met another guy on line yesterday, but I don’t feel any of what I felt with the other guy.

Any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mirou04
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 7:56am
mirou...

Pure and simple....if a man refuses to answer your questions on-line...and won't accept your phone calls at his office...he probably thinks YOU'RE EITHER A TEASE OR A STALKER!

The sad thing about internet relationships is that the more somebody knows about you...certain opinions are formed...and if the perception of you is a negative one, no man is going to pursue you even though you MIGHT be crazy about him!

Get UNATTACHED to this man...then ask yourself if being "supercautious" about somebody one minute...and then aggressive the next...is a good plan to continue?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
In reply to: mirou04
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 8:51am
PianoGuy,

So what do u think he meant when he unblocked me, and he didn't give a straight unswer of yes or no to my question(whether he is still intrested in knowing me better or not),I beleive a simple yes or no wont hurt him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: mirou04
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 1:29pm
I think he wants to keep his options open. Whenever he feels like to "get to know you" he'll make a move. Saying "yes" or "no" doesn't give that opportunity: YES - he's responsible for the next action, NO - he closes the door.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mirou04
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:51pm
mirou...

Once again...I repeat my original response...DROP HIM!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
In reply to: mirou04
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 11:39pm
Hey pianoguy,

I could not of phrased that better myself!! I love the way you put that!