CONFUSED

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
CONFUSED
1
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:52pm
I dated this guy for 3 years and we broke up 2 months ago because he wanted to live the single life. Well last Friday I found out that he has a new girlfriend and he has been calling me to "hook-up" on weekends. Well some of our mutal friends and I planned to go out for a good time this Saturday. I know he is coming and he knows that I am going to be there. Well I just found out today that he is bringing his new girlfriend with us on Saturday. I just don't know what to do. I am still gonna go but I don't know how I should react. Please HELP I am so CONFUSED!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jforet13
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:58pm
You're not confused...you're in denial.

Here's the facts. You two broke up - meaning no obligations, commitments, or responsibilities to or for or about the other in any capacity.

He called to hook up and you agreed...hooking up is "All I want with you is physical gratification". If any "feelings' arise as a result of hooking up - they're not the problem or responsibility of the party "not having feelings".

So, you've hooked up.....and you've probably had great sex as a result. And now he's bringing his new girlfriend to a place of standard meeting amongst your mutual friends.

What is there to be nervous about...once you two brok eup there was nothing between you but sex. And in no obligation hookups - everybody with common sense knows that means if either of you find someone you want to date - the "hooking up" is not an option.

You shouldn't feel weird. He once had a relationship, once that was done he still liked having sex...and now he's with her. She's not going to "feel weird" - because that sequence of events happens to lots of people allthe time, including people that we all end up with in relationships. So, you're not a threat to her because you're an ex girlfriend, and former hookup. HE's chosen to be with her.

Adn she's not a threat to you - you two had a relationship but ended it, and kept having sex for personal gratification - not for emotional bond.

Admittedly you're out a sex partner and he's not.....and if you et emotionally attached as a result of sex...don't pick yournext partner out to spite just to show him you're desirable to "somebody" at the bar this weekend.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com