confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
confused
1
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 9:10pm
My boyfriend broke up w/ me a 3 months ago. It was an extremely bad breakup. He said he loved me but wasn't in love w/me. He thought I could do better. For the past month and a half, we have been hanging out and getting along really good. We kiss and talk. He has just been so great. I am just really confused. I am scared to ask if this is going to lead to anywhere just because I am afraid he wont want to hang out anymore. I love him so much and I feel in my heart that he is my soul mate. I am just confused. He has to know what he is doing right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mando81
Thu, 04-08-2004 - 9:22pm
"He has to know what he is doing right."

What do you mean by this statement? The question is, do *you* think what he is doing is right? If you don't, why not, and why are you tolerating it?

If you do, I think you are making a mistake. He said he loved you but wasn't in love with you. So why is he hanging around kissing you? Does he just want the physical contact without any further commitment? It sounds as if he is leaving the door open so he can leave at a moment's notice.

"I am scared to ask if this is going to lead to anywhere just because I am afraid he wont want to hang out anymore."

Well, asking him is the only way you are ever going to know. So what are you going to do, continue to hang out with him and see what happens, or ask him in a straightforward manner what's up and what he expects? You are entitled to an answer, and if he doesn't want to hang out anymore, well, then he's clearly not your soul mate.

What you don't realize is that you really have nothing to lose here. If you ask him, and he says, "Yes, I do want to get back together," then you've revived the relationship. If he splits, then you never had the relationship anyways. Not knowing doesn't mean he doens't feel that way.