Confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Confused.
1
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 3:42pm
I recently started dating a new guy after being with some one for 5 1/2 years. He on the other hand has not been in a serious relationship in over two years. We have now been dating for almost four months and I really enjoy his company. We are both in our upper 20's.

I feel like we are having a couple problems, yet I am not realy sure if they really are "problems", or if it just the 5 1/2 year relationship expectations coming out in me. SO I turn to some of you for advice.

We never do anything until 8 at night, which is totally on his schedule. I have made comments on how it would be nice to eat dinner at a "normal time" once and/or go to an early movie, figuring we can comprimise somewhat, but that has not happened. However, yesterday he left work to meet his friends at 5:30 to go the bar before a sporting event. I do not think we have EVER got together before 7. DO I have a right to wonder about this?

My next question is, when you have been dating someone for 4 months, how serious do you think that is? (Again, we are in our upper 20's.) For instance, I called him last night, he talked to me for two mins and then had to go because he was with his friends. He said he would call me later, yet I did not hear from him until today at 2, and he even stayed home from work today. When I finally talked to him we had a very brief conversation which he ended with, "well if you get bored you can give me a call later this afternoon, or else I will give you a call later tonight." I guess, especially if I had stayed home sick form work, I would have called him earlier since I barely spoke with him the night before.

SO, I turn to some of you for your thoughts. Part of me is starting to think that maybe this relationship just won't work, but then I start to think maybe I am over reacting because I am used to being in a 5 1/2 year relationship and knowing what to expect.

Thanks for reading!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: ginalin
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:19pm
I think as long as he is reliable and makes plans in advance 8PM is perfectly reasonable. I never get out of work before 6:30, closer to 8 is more typical, and on a Friday or Saturday night 8 is perfectly normal. He of course has friends and just because he is dating you does not mean and should not mean he should stop spending time with them.