Confused about this ex-situation...
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| Wed, 10-12-2005 - 3:58pm |
Hi everyone:
So I am back in a “weird” situation with my ex boyfriend. A little background: Him and I were together for a over a year, broke up and got back together after a month of not seeing each other. Then we broke up again a month laterand he said “nothing will ever happen between you and I again”. We did not speak for another month. During this time was my birthday. On that birthday night I went out to celebrate with my girlfriends, my ex apparently was at the same place as I was with a friend, and saw me kissing another man. When we spoke again after not speaking for a month, he said he saw everything.
So we saw each other for dinner/drinks about a month ago and he told me how he felt about the situation. He said that when he saw me kissing another man, he lost his feelings for me but “maybe they will come back”. He also said when him and I got back together the first time, it was too soon. All the old issues were still there and we needed a longer break. I basically begged him to take me back at this point, but he persisted and said no, let’s be friends. This puzzled me since he has always said about his past relationships “I never stay friends with ex’s because it is only trouble, we had enough time to be more than friends, no need to be friends or anything” But I let it go and went along with “let’s be friends” So we have been friends. We speak almost daily although I have not seen him in a month now. I have been asking him if he is seeing someone and he says “No I am not and I do not want to date anyone for a while” At the same time, he has been telling me to just relax and let things go, “if I stop thinking about romantic things about him, these feelings will go away with time”, I can tell he is still thinking about what happened that night when he saw me kissing someone else and cannot really shake the memory off his mind.
So let’s go to last night, which is the issue what I am confused about. I was speaking to him online and I said to him “Don’t worry, I will not longer hassle you (about our relationship, which I have done in the month we have been speaking), I have moved on.” Then I asked him what time he wants to meet me tomorrow (we had agreed to have dinner tomorrow night, as it is his birthday soon). To that he said “Since you have moved on, there is no need for us to meet, you have someone else in your life and I am practically not in existence any longer!”…so I proceeded to explain to him that I did NOT mean I am seeing someone else, but that I am no longer going to be sad about the issue and beat myself up over it. So now I am puzzled. I feel like he just wants things to cool over for a while and have us figure out issues out before getting back together. That is what his reaction last night makes me think, but then sometimes he says things like “you will snap out of it(meaning the fact that I want to be with him)” There is also some trust issues on his part, when we saw each other again, he said to me “how do I know you aren’t going to keep on seeing the guy you kissed as well (who happens to be my friend)”? I am just so confused at this point, I feel like he puts up a front and say one thing but is thinking something else…Anyone who knows how to interpret his reaction from last night??? Please help…
~T~

I just got back from dinner with my ex and funnily enough, I didn't feel sad or upset. I felt fine about seeing him and ok about the fact that we're not together. At this point I am just going to let it all go. I asked him "why would it bother you if I was with someone new?" and he said "because then you cannot be the friend I want you to be, we'd talk every so and so many months and not be able to hang out at all" (he doesn't mean FWB, there has been no physical contact since we broke up, so he doesn't mean that)...he said he will call me, so I will wait but in the mean time, I am just not going to bother any longer...I am done, finished...finito...thanks yall for your patience...
~T~