Confused about new bf...help
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Confused about new bf...help
| Fri, 08-19-2005 - 11:48pm |
So I've been dating my guy for about a month and a half and everythings been great, we love each other so much. Well, tonight we went to the city (nyc) to hang out with his fire academy bros and things went from great to terrifying. He obviously became intoxicated, and was joking around and stuff with me, and even though i said it was bothering me, he continured to do it as if he knew it would bother me, (i wanted to scream or cry, thats how bad it was getting with the topic he was joking about). Then we finally left and he was giving me a hard time cuz i told him i wanted to drive...(becuz he certainly shouldnt).....by then i was crying because i've never seen this way he was being before and it scared me. So he actually was about to threaten that he'd use his back up key(cuz i had his keys) and by then i didnt know what to do. So i was scared crapless when he was driving back home, and still crying because of it. He of course was like "whats worng" and apoligizing....and i love him so much, that i dont know whats going on...ugh how do you think i should handle this tomorrrow morning? i'm so confused....will things always be like this...am i thinking about it too much and shouldnt be......confused here! (am i making sense?)

I can tell you what is going. You are dating a wonderful man that becomes a different person when he drinks. Since he does drink, he probaby isn't interested in stopping or acknowledging that he has a problem.
If your man gave you a hard time about not driving, your best bet next time (if there is a next time) is to hand him his keys and tell him that you will talk to him later. There is no need to get yourself into a potentially violent situation or car crash. You can always call a friend to come pick you up or catch a cab home safely.
If you insist on continuing to date this guy, I strongly recommend you get involved with Al-Anon so you can learn to live with somebody with a violence and alcohol problem.
Good luck.
You've only been dating him for 1.5 months when most people are still trying to be on their best behavior.
http://www.al-anon.org/english.html
Your "great and wonderful boyfriend" not only disregarded your feelings, but your personal safety as well. I'm sorry, but you KNOW better than to get in the car with someone who's been drinking, you tried to do the right thing by insisting you drive- and at the point that he was threatening, you should have walked away and found your own way home. If he wants to act irresponsible in that manner, then let him. He should have been happy that YOU, at least, were worried about HIS personal safety- not to mention anyone on the road that he could have potentially run into.
I don't care if he's been "fun, fun, fun" every OTHER time you've gone out- he's irresponsible and his attitude may GET YOU KILLED! Tell him that next time, you'll be driving if he's going to drink. If he doesn't like it, end it. You don't need to be involved with someone who has no regard for anyone else's safety.
You've only been together a month and a half, so you don't *really* know each other, and you don't *really* have that many ties to him. Is this guy just interested in partying all weekend and getting drunk, or is it a once in a while thing?
You need to think about yourself first and foremost. Do not put yourself in danger just to have a guy around- it's not worth it. You can certainly find one that will not treat you and disrespect you in that manner.
Alison