Confused about what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Confused about what to do
1
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 11:30am

I met this girl I really like at several parties throughout the summer. Finally I asked her for some contact info in July. We didn't get to going out until September though because she was busy and then I had started seeing someone and then that ended.

I have gone on two dates with her over the past couple of weeks. I met her yesterday for a coffee to help her with a project she was working on but it was short because she needed to get home to work on it. We haven't really kissed or anything mostly because I think she is shy and also only wants to do that if she knows someone and is dating them. It feels ambiguous. Some apects of it feel like dating. Others feel like friendship. I tell I like her and how great she is and how much I enjoy spending time with her...so she must know I like her romantically...am I correct to assume that?

Her work is also sometimes busy so we will probably not have an actual date with her and I until next week sometime.

She phones me and we talk (sometimes for hours), she gives off signals (like sitting close to me and touching her leg to my leg at a party the other night) but I feel that maybe she is waiting for me to take the risk of asking her if she is interested in dating or that she just wants to take thing slowly. I've been waiting for it to just happen kind of naturally but I think she may actually appreciate it when a guy puts himself out there by clearly stating what he wants.

So I was thinking that I would just express that I would like us to date and that I like her romantically. It feels so awkward and strange. I feel like a high school teenager now when I am around her and I've been dating a lot lately and haven't felt this nervous. We are both in our 30s.

Should I wait for her to bring it up or should I? Should I just state how I feel about her and what I want from everything. I haven't yet because it feels premature but still maybe that is what she wants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 11:40am

If you keep beating around the bush your lady is going to lose interest. Call her up, tell her that you want to take her on a date, and use the word "date" in your sentence. No need for long drawn out explanations. Tell her you want to take her out to a specific restaurant (a nice one) on Friday night. She should get the message of your intentions loud and clear.

I don't think this lady knows what is motivating you, telling her how wonderful she is still doesn't make things clear to her.