Confused and Hurting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Confused and Hurting
1
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:10pm
I'm having a difficult time in my so-called relationship. My ex boyfriend and I meet 2 weeks before I had to move and go to college. We were together for a couple of months and everything was going great he was sweet, funny and would call everyday just to see how school was going or how my day went. I was happy and in love. Well a couple of weeks a go he invited me to go on a trip with him out of state. That weekend we were having fun and he was very affectionate but later on that night he tells me that he can't handle the long distance thing, he said he couldn't stand not seeing me everyday so he ended the relationship. He told me that he still wanted to talk to me and be with me but that we shouldn't get serious until after I finish school (which is in about another year and 1/2). He also told me that this didn't mean that I could go out and find another boyfriend. When we got back from our trip I was supposed to stay the night with him but first I was going to go visit my folks and he was going to visit his. I asked him how long was he going to be gone and should I just go ahead and stay with my parents, he said no and that he would call. I visited with my parents and went to go visit a girlfriend of mine until he called. I ended up staying the night with her because he never called. His excuse was that he had went out of tow to his sisters to watch his nieces and forgot. When I went to pick up my stuff he acted like nothing was wrong. Now lately he’s been calling me late and only talking to me for a few minutes sometimes not even calling for two days straight. When I asked if he was trying to end things slow with me because he didn't want to hurt me. He said no that the only reason were not together is because of the long distance its to much of a stressor and he just can't deal with that right now. He tells me he cares about me and wants to be with me but every time I talk to him he sounds irritated, and feel like the sound of my voice make him annoyed. I did give my virginity to him so I don't know if that’s the problem or if he’s just scared. He is older than me and was once married. I'm confused and cry almost everyday and I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on my studies because he’s all I think about. I just want to be happy again but I don't know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:20pm
To be honest, he sounds like a control freak. He doesn't want to be with you cause he's all *stressed* about the long distance thing- but NO you can't move on and find happiness with anyone else. He wants you to be where you are, pinning away for him while he does as he pleases. I wouldn't be surprised if HE'S out there dating other women, but if you date another guy, you'll get an ear full!

I think that you should step back and look at this situation for what it is. OVER. You're at school and I'm sure there are tons of great guys who you could be dating. Go out and have fun, you deserve it!

Alison

Photobucket