Confused and need advice!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
Confused and need advice!!!
1
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 11:54am
Okay, I'm a little confused and need some advice. I started online dating sites after my divorce a little over a year ago. And I recently met a great guy. We emailed and talked on the phone for a month before meeting. Our first meeting just went really well, we liked each other and felt comfortable with each other. We both said we felt a connection. At the end of the date he kissed me and we stood there kissing and holding each other for close to 20 or 30 minutes! We continued talking every day and less than a week later we had our second date. When we saw each other we kissed immediately--just feeling very comfortable. We ended up making out and fooling around a little in the car before and after dinner. He has been great. And he has told me from the beginning that he wanted a long-term relationship, which is what I want also. Here is my problem, there has been some talk of sex. We both want to and he says that we should go with our feelings (but of course he would say that!) I want to have sex with him, but at the same time I am scared to. I slept with a guy once and then never heard from him again and I don't want that to happen here because I really like this guy. Advice please!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 1:22pm

I'd go with a more deeper connection FIRST. THe sexual attraction is mutual, BUT if this is the only thing that is there the relationship will continue for as long there is sex. The minute you want to talk and share the moment he'll be out the door looking for some of the same.

Given that you met him online, I'd first clarify the status of the relationship. Is it casual or serious? You've had two dates so how much do you know about him? Is he dating more women and possibly sleeping with more than one? If he does, the you could be sleeping with them as well! How clean is his bill of health? It takes once time to catch something that could be with you forever. Is he employed? Where does he live? Does he own or rent? Does he have children? Does he keep in contact with his EX? Is he single? How does he see life in the future, in 5 years? How long has he been dating online?

IMHO, you're letting lust take over.